make-up party!

Yes!! I missed agian--an opportunity for crazily messing up and then suddenly disappearing.

There always exists un evil intention deep in my heart, but it is passing like a ray, too fast to chase; like a flash, too short to be true. Although I want, it's impossible to come true cause I hardly to see its real appearance. The only thing that I'm quite sure and am proud of is being a person without solid essence. Vividly like a mirror, I project everyone's lute, desire and dream. The perfect transparence, like a shining star in a blurred dark sky, stares at your terrors and horrors. Then appears as a brutal monster, hungry for a long while, hunting down the moon. Its favorite sacrifice is lonliness and silence. As a resident in the endless nightmare, it hopes for transfer. Yes. That's the way I catch your eyes and your attention, through the emerging curiosity, sorry but you're already a victime.

Imagine as angel not totally pure, he can travel from the paradise and the dust. He gets invisible wings--actually I'm not sure whether the wings are invisible or nothing at all. Mixed angel has foot and human like body. Mostly he walks instead of flying, but he tells himself always: it's mind that divides a saint or a devil. Devil gets wings as well but they are black. It should be standing at the extreme point--absolute purity or chao--that could become a complete angel or devil. His choice is always ambigous, and that's the reason why he's a mixed. He tastes everyone's mood but never involved by himself. There's only dust on foot and the mind is still empty--a shinning mirror reflects everything projected to it. It recieves but never accepts.

Carring with modernity and post-modernity, walking through a long passage of time, a vagrant passed up and down each changing space. No destination, he doesn't know his home and of course, there's nowhere for him to belong.

Yes thought I am eager to parcitipate in, I still missed this opportunity. Though I am always here, never disappear...sigh...always lack of motivation and a little bit action...courage and impluse....sigh....I am still who I am even though I am not sure whether I am wearing a mask--just like everyone does. Tout le monde est en train de participer au fete!!