Dear QD, let's fight CHD together

QD is just 4 months old. As a Bernes Mountain dog, it seems that he can't escape the fate twisting with CHD. At the early July, we found that he could'nt walk well. So after a while of research, I decided to take him to the elwood animal hospital, which is famous in CHD and joint.

Of course, they are really professional. They took a video shot for the walking situation of QD and after came the X-ray, for observing cleary how its joints work in a totally relaxed situation. The doctor showed us what CHD looks like through comparing several X-ray photographs of dogs. For QD, the degree is very mild. And we can't sure right now cause it's really young. But the doctor recommended that we should start conservative management no matter QD has CHD or not. Having a strong muscle is always good for dog.

One month later, I got the full report in details. The doctor said that QD is a mild CHD patient, which worries me a lot! I hope that QD could grow up smoothly, without any pain and unhappiness. But now, with CHD, we need to pay more attention to it. CHD could destroy the normal quality of life for both dog and its family. We would take more efforts in training QD's muscle by sleash walk and swimming. I really wish that God should bless us and QD for combating CHD in the future coming days.

7月1日鬼門開

懺悔＋祈福=眾生平安
so，衝一發吧！！！

瓦勒斯與她妹妹的新寵：安布雷拉編年史

作為一個惡靈古堡系列的愛好者，當然不能錯過安布雷拉編年史，尤其當我們把惡靈四已經打到爛掉的狀況下(所謂的「爛掉」，係指我們已經從easy到 profession全破關外，還拿到了刀槍不入的盔甲+彈藥無限的超強武器)，所以我們在大過年便買了它，然而，一開始玩它就是純粹射擊，另外，還有令人覺得噁心的吸血蛭，更重要的是完全看不到人(惡靈四有個帥Leon呢!)，因此覺得很無聊的情況下，決定認賠當作沒這回事，把它給冰凍吧！

拜鳳凰颱風所賜，我們賺到了一天假，而我愛打WII的兩個表弟，決定來我家排遣一下，結果，我妹拿了安布雷拉出來，可能人多力量大，居然讓我們發現了可以兩人一起打－－不論是姐弟、兄妹、姐妹，我們都體會到其利斷金啊！！安布雷拉也因此變有趣了，成為現在我們兩個除了玩狗外，熱中的新消遣！！！

不過目前我們除了遊戲時間到S之外，其他的rank都在B與C之間遊走，更重要是我們不會丟手榴彈，生存選擇常沒有被讀到，真是殘念！對我而言，此款也不像惡靈四，可以賺錢，動力就變低拉(沒錯，我就是愛錢～)但是雙人組合，真的很有趣，也可以拉信姐妹情誼，至少兩人都有參與感，目前覺得值回票價啦！！希望惡靈有新的趕快出來，報告完畢！！

老靈魂醒來了

對我而言，老靈魂一直都是醒著的，以從容不迫的態度，看著世間的喜怒哀樂；用無比溫暖的心，做所有人的依靠與導師。永遠都是樂觀地傾注所有正面的能量，使我絕不相信老靈魂正在迷惘，或，正處於絕望......直到某天，老靈魂綑起行囊，說要去天涯處注入新力量，期待以更深沉的祝福來回報給所有人，我突然頓失所依，就像一名戰犯，戴著枷鎖，再次被流放。

老靈魂說過，要將每個路過的靈魂，擁進懷裡，一同感受上天的恩典；老靈魂也說過，我們的相遇，那是過去的福德種出的善因，的確，也許我再次來到這裡的目的，就是要把這個福德，結出更漂亮的果，尋一個更完美的結局，然而老靈魂的離開，我感到迷惘，果不知到該如何結？我感到無比挫折，我的身體相信老靈魂，並不相信我，因為，我的正向能量存款簿，並不足以吸引它為我開展，為我綻放；我也不若老靈魂充滿愛心、耐心及信心，對身體，我總是充滿鄙視，我總是以傲慢的態度、憎恨的心情、命令的語氣與其相處－－我以為，這是鍛鍊，殊不知我正在用負面的能量盡全力打擊它，所以在老靈魂的遠行後，它一落千丈，虛弱得無以復加。很多人說他們欽佩我，但是唯有如老靈魂，才會知道我的狀況糟透了！身體，就如同所有的有形外在，都是內心的型塑，破敗的身體，灰暗的視野，代表著半殘的心靈，更清楚地說明著極度副面能量的反射；也許，我的靈魂，也應該醒過來，重新認識世界。

尋找善果，這永遠是各自的修行，我花了近半年的時間，才有此體會。在心裡栽下一顆善念的種子，以正面的態度讓它發芽成長茁壯，進而成為對外在世界的善布施。狹隘的心胸，是不會反省；堅持的平靜，只是外在的假象－－事實上，那是兩面刃，傷身且傷心。瞬間懺悔，一念如來，總是知易行難，看著老靈魂日記，我震攝於外在能量的浩瀚，我感佩於旅人無上的勇氣與胸懷，也知道自己的渺小，更清楚成道之路是多漫長！

老靈魂與壯遊，也許那只是一個重新洗滌自己，好再次接受無量正向的縮影，也許我會擔心，也許我的私心希望那段旅程儘快結束，然而，此刻的我充滿祝福！也許移動範圍很拘束，我將會讓自己的心懷更廣闊，好比那一呼一吸間，注入身體的暖流－－願那股能量能啟動我的身體，能清除我內心的焦慮，在細微的波動間體會那最純淨的自在！

老靈魂，希望我也能分享，梭巴仁波切那令人動容地無上智慧：「願一切有情眾生的痛苦在我身上成熟，願我的一切善業福德當下在眾生身上成熟。」

到此，我相信，老靈魂已醒，我為此，充滿喜悅！

Quand on vit sous la stresse

Cependant il est déjà passé, je voudrait fêter le Noël

Je suis dans une pètite chambre ou place, au retour de l'air silence et de la musique. En rencontrant le problème de faire aucune d'écriture par chaque langue familière, j'ai decidé de fêter le Noël au 26 décembre...

Je n'ai pas de voeux spéciale. J'adore ma vie et mon boulot récement. Mais la majeure raison est pour cela je n'atteinds jamais tous mes OBJETS il y a 3 ans. Je n'ai pas aucune de copain, ni prends mon degré, ni visite la France, ni continue mes études de la langue fraçaise, et aussi ni passe l'éxamen officiel, etc. Et plus, j'ai reçu beaucoup de devraux à completer si tôt si possible. C'est vraiment dommage que je n'ai pas d'idée pour marcher...Pauvre...Donc...Pour comforter moi-même et donner plus de confinance sur mon avenir, je n'ai pas ajouté aucune de programme....Pour ne pas deceçoir les gens qui m'aiment et j'aime...

Ouvrir le canlendrier, 2007 va passer tôt. En rencontrant le début de 2008, il faut prendre plus d'efforts, Wallis!!

Do you marry to your work?

It's a long time that I didn't update my blog. For the past half a year, I work so hard and feel exhausted after the job. I enjoy the relieness that my colleuge gave me and the self-fulfillement that my job honored me. Of course, I paid a lot, the heaviest cost, it's my health. I feel uncomfortable since the Chinese New Year.

My solution for this problem is simple. If I feel uncomfortable, I go to sleep. If I could take rest well, I would be fine the other day. But this cycle repeats and repeats. Now, it's more and more serious. I work too late since July and became worse since August. I would be in flu if I work "too hard" and I need to take a leave the next day. So when I return to office, my job became a mountain. I stucked in a vicious cycle. But everyone knows that my personality is really tough sincne I don't look like that kind of person in my appearance. I began to regard myself as an enemy. And I think that my body regard myself like that as well. Because all the syndrome that I have, it's always immune system related. That's fine! Let's fight! I wonder who would win and who would be defeated. That sounds crazy. But YES!!!! That's what I've been thinking about till now. This is the most interesting game that I've ever participated in. It's a chess between myself and still myself--the health and the esteem.

Now I still have no time for visiting a doctor. But thank for my company, I know that I have several problems cause I had a health check in the August. If I can't complete my job, the pressure would be overwhelmed. So the strategy that I take recently, that is I take leave when I feel terrible. If I go to work, I work as much as I can. And thank for starbucks, you're really a good friend during this period. The coffee helps me concentrate whole myself on work and forget the illness temporarily. The battle begins and I don't know when it would end, perhaps the result releases on the day that I die, I don't know, sooner or later, I would encounter.

My friend mentioned me, do you marry to your work? Perhaps yes. Since I have no any bf or epouse, why not. At least, I experience my breath and my power, and the existence from it.

And you? Do you marry to your work? Does anyone have the same battle as me?

Chère Wallis, vous rappelleriez-vous me pour toujours ?

Moi, je me depêche d'aller en reunion. Il est 13h25 et je pense que je serai au retard. Je regarde des personnes devant et commence à penser ma boîte de dejeuner. Je voudrais la nettoyer avant de joindre la reunion. Mais tellement beaucoup de personnes, je m'en inquiéte...

Une Madame arrive, elle semble de savoir mon inquiet et me parle à l'air très naturelle. ¨Toi, tu as besion d'aide?¨ ¨Oui, j'ai une reunion et je suis au retard mais je veux quane même nettoyer ma boîte de dejeuner. Et il y a beaucoup de personnes attendent...¨ ¨Bon, vas en reunion! Ne t'inquiétes pas! Je peux le faire pour toi!" Elle est sérieuse et je la regarde avec surprise. Elle me confirme encore une fois qu'elle peut le faire pour moi et prendre ma boîte directment.

Je suis revenue au bureau à 15h30 et je vois ma boîte de dejeuner popre laissée devant de mon ordinateur. Et il y a 3 thé dans celle. C'est une très bonne idée! J'adore l'aide que cette madame m'a donnée. Donc je lui dis Merci beaucoup chaque fois quand je la vois. Je pense que c'est un petit secret entre nous deux...

Celui serait un petit secret mais je suis racontée que beaucoup de personnes le savaient bien. Et je suis une seule du bureau qui a la prévilige d'avoir l'aide de cette madame. Cependant elle est résponsable de tout "12 etage", elle n'aide pas chaque personne individuelle. Ca me rends plus embarassée en particuliére quand je sais qu'elle dest déjà partie.

Je ne sais pas quel jour est le dernier pour elle. Mais quand même, la derniére phrase entre nous deux, c'est toujours "Je te remercie de m'aider à nettoyer la boîte de dejeuner". Et la derniére réponse d'elle à moi, c'est...

"ALORS, Chère Wallis, vous rappelleriez-vous me pour toujours ?"

"Bien sure oui, je vais souvenir de ton aide toujours, en particuliér quane je m'occupe de nettoyer ma boîte de dejeuner."

Bien sure oui, chère Madame! Pardonne-moi de t'appeler comme ça. Tu pars tout de suite et je ne pourrai pas avoir ton nom à temps. Et Je suis désolée aussi que je ne pourrais pas te dire "au revoir" pendant notre dernier dialogue. Je souhaite que tout vas bien avec toi. Merci et encore une fois!

Scoring

This monring when I woke up, I turned on TV and heard an interesting song of Stanley Huang, which is named "scoring" (打分數 in Chinese).

The lyric makes me laugh a lot! It shows two styles woman that all men dream for. Of course these two types represent two extremely different "sexy" for men as well. They are party girls & well-mannered girls.

Party girls with spciy wearing, moving wildly and hot alone. Her body, her lips, and her dance are all so sexy to stick your eyes. How to score her? 7 or 8? When you try to approach her, she would proudly tell you who you think your are. You're just one of the crowds of men who have ever shown interests. Of course you feel terrible. "Shut up your mouth" and you began to decrease the score. Besides, you shit in your mind also to her: if you want to get more points, you had better shake your body more sexily!

In contrast, well-mannered girls are polite. They know all know-hows to handle a family. With their uniforms, you think that their innocent is sexy as well. How to score her? Perhaps 8 or 9. When you try to approach her, she would tell you that my dad says, "no touch, no kiss, and no hugs". No this, no that, of course no everything. Of course you feel "MY GOD" again. "Shut up your mouth" and apparently you decrease the score from 9 to 0. As result, you decide to give up.

Although "high heels is so sexy, lace is so sexy", you start to sigh....There's no perfect woman but all full of the 0-point women in your world. How to score?

To the dearest counter-part of the world, please score yourself before scoring others. You always dream for the both. And most women truly have the both but they change always. People say that "the women" is like "the cats". Women are always sexy, no matter within or without clothes. They are born artice. Don't use your stupid eye on their deep actions. Or you could score 0 to all women in the world and you successfully get nothing.

歌名︰打分數作詞：崔惟楷/黃立行　作曲：Jao Chong/黃立行

Party girls故意穿得辣　就是怕我不盯住她
一個人跳　態度殺　幫她打個分數　應該7或8
sexy她的嘴唇翹的 so sexy 她的水蛇腰is so sexy
party girls好騷　每個有一套　搖出18招

想要跟我喝一杯你以為你是誰
知不知道每天追我男人有一堆
天啊扣分　給我shut your mouth
要從4變8 你最好用力搖

High heels so sexy　Lace is so sexy
滿分的女人我找不到 0分的女人都到處跑
High heels so sexy　Lace is so sexy
到底打幾分　滿分不是你　到底打幾分 34567
High heels so sexy　Lace is so sexy
滿分的女人我找不到 0分的女人都到處跑
High heels so sexy　Lace is so sexy
到底打幾分　滿分不是你　到底打幾分 34567

乖乖牌長得超可愛　有禮貌一點都不跩
愛做家事　愛煮菜　幫她打個分數給她8 or 9
sexy穿著學生服is so sexy 她的表情無辜so sexy
一副在等待　我這個黑馬王子　把她救出來

爸爸說我不能牽手不能給你親
這個不行　那個不行　什麼都不行
天啊扣分　給我shut your mouth
你這個9變4　我放牛吃草

High heels so sexy　Lace is so sexy
滿分的女人我找不到 0分的女人都到處跑
High heels so sexy　Lace is so sexy
到底打幾分　滿分不是你　到底打幾分 54321
High heels so sexy　Lace is so sexy
滿分的女人我找不到 0分的女人都到處跑
High heels so sexy　Lace is so sexy
到底打幾分　滿分不是你　到底打幾分 34567

洛神賦

Dear Rose

I know that you always want to put me into death, with same the cruel action treated on 甄宓. It is OK for me. With the following attachment, I hope that I would be a such perfect woman as she is the article of 曹植. And more, in this classic composition, we all know that death can't cover a great woman easily, not only for her beauty but also for the paradigm that she established. Anyway, FYI! Any comment is welcomed!


洛神賦 曹植

黃 初 三 年， 余 朝 京 師 ， 還 濟 洛 川 。
古人 有 言 ， 斯 水 之 神 ， 名 曰 宓 妃 。
感 宋 玉 對 楚 王 神 女 之 事 ， 遂 作 斯 賦 。 其 辭 曰 ：

余 從 京 域 言 歸 東 藩 。背 伊 闕 ， 越 轘 轅 。 經 通 谷 ， 陵 景 山 。日 既 西 傾 ， 車 殆 馬 煩。 爾 迺 稅 駕 乎 蘅 皋 ， 秣 駟 乎 芝 田 。容 與 乎 陽 林 ， 流 眄 乎 洛 川。 於 是 精 移 神 駭， 忽 焉 思 散 。 俯 則 未 察 ， 仰 以 殊 觀 。睹一 麗 人 ， 于 巖 之 畔 。迺 援 御 者 而 告之 曰 ： 「 爾 有 覿 於 彼 者 乎 ？ 彼 何 人 斯， 若 此 之 豔 也 ？ 」 御 者 對 曰 ： 「 臣 聞 河 洛 之 神 ， 名 曰 宓 妃， 然 則 君 王 所 見 ， 無 迺 是 乎 ？ 其 狀 若 何 ？ 臣 願 聞 之 。 」

余 告 之 曰：其 形 也 ， 翩 若 驚 鴻 ， 婉 若 遊 龍 。 榮 曜 秋 菊 ， 華 茂 春 松 。
髣 彿 兮 若 輕 雲 之 蔽 月 ， 飄 颻 兮 若 流 風 之 迴 雪 。
遠 而 望 之 ， 皎 若 太 陽升 朝 霞；迫 而 察 之 ，灼 若 芙 蕖 出 淥 波 。
襛 纖 得 衷 ， 脩 短 合 度 。肩 若 削 成 ， 腰 如 約 素 。
延 頸 秀 項 ， 皓 質 呈 露 。芳 澤 無 加 ， 鉛 華 弗 御 。
雲 髻 峨 峨 ， 脩 眉 聯 娟 。丹 脣 外 朗 ， 皓 齒 內 鮮 。
明 眸 善 睞 ， 靨 輔 承 權 。瑰 姿 豔 逸 ， 儀 靜 體 閑 。
柔 情 綽 態 ， 媚 於 語 言 。奇 服 曠 世 ， 骨 像 應 圖 。
披 羅 衣 之 璀 粲 兮， 珥 瑤 碧 之 華 琚。
戴 金 翠 之 首 飾 ， 綴 明 珠 以 耀 軀 。
踐 遠 遊 之 文 履 ， 曳 霧 綃 之 輕 裾 。
微 幽 蘭 之 芳 藹 兮 ， 步 踟 躕 於 山 隅 。

於 是 忽 焉 縱 體 ， 以 遨 以 嬉 。 左 倚 采 旄 ， 右 蔭 桂 旗 。
攘 皓 腕 於 神 滸 兮 ， 采 湍 瀨 之 玄 芝。
余 情 悅 其 淑 美 兮 ， 心 振 蕩 而 不 怡 。
無 良 媒 以 接 懽 兮 ， 託 微 波 而 通 辭 。
願 誠 素 之 先 達 兮 ， 解 玉 佩 以 要 之。
嗟 佳 人 之 信 脩 ， 羌 習 禮 而 明 詩 。
抗 瓊 珶 以 和 予 兮 ， 指 潛 淵 而 為 期 。
執 眷 眷 之 款 實 兮 ， 懼 斯 靈 之 我 欺。
感 交 甫 之 棄 言 兮 ， 悵 猶 豫 而 狐 疑 。
收 和 顏 而 靜 志 兮 ， 申 禮 防 以 自 持 。

於 是 洛 靈 感 焉 ， 徙 倚 傍 徨 。神光 離 合 ， 乍 陰 乍 陽 。
竦 輕 軀 以 鶴 立， 若 將 飛 而 未 翔 。
踐 椒 塗 之郁 烈 ， 步 蘅 薄 而 流 芳 。
超 長 吟 以 永 慕 兮 ， 聲 哀 厲 而 彌 長 。

爾 迺 眾 靈 雜 遝 ， 命 儔 嘯 侶 。
或 戲 清 流 ， 或 翔 神 渚 。 或 采 明 珠 ， 或 拾 翠 羽 。
從 南 湘 之 二 妃 ， 攜 漢 濱 之 游 女 。
歎 匏 瓜 之 無 匹 兮 ， 詠 牽 牛 之 獨 處 。
揚 輕 褂 之 猗 靡兮 ， 翳 脩 袖 以 延 佇 。
體 迅 飛 鳧 ， 飄 忽 若 神 。 陵 波 微 步 ， 羅 襪 生 塵 。
動 無 常 則 ， 若 危 若 安 。 進 止 難 期 ， 若 往 若 還 。
轉 眄 流 精 ， 光 潤 玉 顏 。 含 辭 未 吐 ， 氣 若 幽 蘭 。
華 容 婀 娜 ， 令 我 亡 懷 。

於 是 屏 翳 收 風 ， 川 后 靜 波 。 馮 夷 鳴 鼓 ， 女 媧 清 歌 。
騰 文 魚 以 警 乘 ， 鳴 玉 鸞 以 偕 逝 。
六 龍 儼 其 齊 首 ， 載 雲 車 之 容 裔 。
鯨 鯢 踊 而 夾 轂 ， 水 禽 翔 而 為 衛 。

於 是 越 北 沚 ， 過 南 岡 。 紆 素 領 ， 迴 清 陽 。
動 朱 脣 以 徐 言 ， 陳 交 接 之 大 綱 。
恨 人 神 之 道 殊 兮 ， 怨 盛 年 之 莫 當 。
抗 羅 袂 以 掩 涕 兮 ， 淚 流 襟 之 浪 浪 。
悼 良 會 之 永 絕 兮 ， 哀 一 逝 而 異 鄉 。
無 微 情 以 效 愛 兮 ， 獻 江 南 之明 璫 。
雖 潛 處 於 太 陰 ， 長 寄 心 於 君 王 。

於 是 背 下 陵 高 ， 足 往 神 留 。 遺 情 想 像 ， 顧 望 懷 愁 。
冀 靈 體 之 復 形 ， 御 輕 舟 而 上 溯 。
浮 長 川 而 忘 反 ， 思 綿 綿 而 增 慕 。
夜 耿 耿 而 不 寐 ， 霑 繁 霜 而 至 曙 。
命 僕 夫 而 就 駕 ， 吾 將 歸 乎 東 路 。
攬 騑 轡 以 抗 策 ， 悵 盤 桓 而不 能 去 。

Une Soirée pasée à ICU

Lundi soir, 18h00, je me suis dépêchée d'aller a l'hopital NTU. Il y a 14 mois que je n'y suis pas allée. Mon coeur est toujours compliqué quand meme. Cette fois, je suis pas une patiente, mais je vais visiter ma grand mère.

ICU, est la ou elle habite récement.Elle est dans une grande chambre avec 11 autres patients, accompagnés par l'équipe médicale. Les visites de familles sont interdites, sauf pour évenement spécial. Selon mes parents,elle changent souvent de voisins de chambre. Ils éprouvent la vie et la mort en un après midi. On ne trouve rien içi, sauf la fragilité de la vie.

J'arrive finalement à 19h00, les visiteurs et les patients se cotoient dans les couloirs, dans l'hopital. J'ai vu mes parents et la famille de ma mère. Cela fait longtemps que je ne les ai pas vus. Je trouve qu'on se rencontre souvent à l'hopital ces dernières années. Je n'aime pas du tout l'hopital, mais je retrouve ma famille içi. Je connais bien la situation et l'atmosphere de l'hopital, alors ça ne me perturbe pas. Beaucoup de mes collègues me trouvent étrange. Je suis trop tranquille. Mais je crois que tout le monde pourra l'être comme moi s'il a passé tellement beaucoup de temps à l'hopitale.
Jje pense que pour ma grand mère, sa situation s'améliore. Elle me reconnait, elle sait qui je suis. Elle pourrait m'appeler quand je suis à cotée de son lit, mais cependant elle a des situations difficiles à résoudre. J'ai commencée à penser...Ma grand mère et moi, on a des problèmes de santé en commun. Notre seule difference, c'est l'âge. Bien sure je suis plus jeune. Dans le futur, il est probable que je rencontre les mêmes difficultées qu'ellle. Pour moi c'est une chance de comprendre...la beauté de la vie ce n'est pas seulement la puissance et le bonheur, mais aussi sa fragilité et la douleur..sans quoi nous ne pouvons apprécier le reste.

19h30 la visite s'achève. C'est vrai que je ne suis pas trop surprise ni inquiète. Peut-être parce que j'ai eue un mariage en Avril, la mort en Mai, et, la naissance en Juin. Ce sont les choses les plus importantes dans une vie que j'ai rencontrée en 2006. Le cycle de la vie. C'est ça.

Tiger Huang--the voice memorable

I have no special feeling when I was informed that our year-end party would be held in Jong-Shan Building, which was the location of national parliament before. With worry, I borrowed a traditional Chinese suite from my mom in order to follow the directions of invitators. And for the prizes, I always know that they won't be prepared for me. But Tiger Huang, a famous singer here, was invited to have the show in our party. That's what I expect!

She's not the most beloved singer for me. However, her voice and some of her songs are definitely affective and attractive. She sang some old and classic songs here, whicn really brought me to the memorable old time through her strong voice. She didn't bring fashion show-clothes and fantastic band but with her and the spot light of her, we all experienced the charm and the power of "live show". Although it's not really correspondent to the style of Jong-Shan building, her voice really catch all eyes of the party. Compared to her show, the feast and the prize are not expective to me anymore.

Tiger Huang, you are deserved to be called as "pub queen"!! I'd like to experience once more your live show again! Encore et Bravo!

It's all coming back to me now!!

I admit that I'm too naive.

When I saw the prediction of Zodiac for Cancer 2007, which said that 2007 would be a busy year for Cancer, I put it aside and thought, "That's really ridiculous!" But now, I know that I'm wrong.

After my working life since April 2006, the Friday of 31 December, which is the first day that I stayed in the office even though the air conditioner had already been turned off. And unbelievable, I experienced the same after one week. I think that I need to shout out cause I have too many stuffs since I was back to office.

The August for me is really stressful. But I think that it's worth cause my tough effort got rewards as the best contribution on Q4 last year. I thought that I got rid of those mountain-high quotations since I all handed out. But now, they all became the contracts and came back to me now....

I didn't dare to caculate how many contracts that I prepared. Besides, I run more amortization tables which should be the total amounts of two months. My working life is terribly busy. Thursday afternoon, I got two hours free since a busy working morning. I'm starting to think that the hell is passed and the heaven is coming. Now I should worry how to dress up for the HP year end party on Friday night, which requires us to be show off with Chinese style. But I was happy too early. I forgot that I had a meeting before the party. And I underestimated it. Although I knew that I should prepare to share my function, I didn't think that I should prepare with slides.

At 17h30, my collogue told me that one new member prepared the slide for presentation. I still had the thought that....I needn't...Hey, just 15 minutes, why work so hard? And it's Friday, come on let's have fun than serious presentation. 18h47, the moment when I still helped one collegue to progress a report, I recieved a mail from a senior collegue. And she came to my seat to ask me if I recieved the template of slide. OH MY GOD. Actually, I wanted to leave the office as soon as possible after busy working, which means that I didn't have enough time to drink even a cup of water or go to toilet. It's near 19h00 and I need to think of my dress tomorrow. Of course, I don't like to do it. But it seems that I can't skip....

So I decided to leave the office immediately in case any urgence occurs. Then it's the first time that I brought my work home. And that's because I wrote this on my blog. Now it's 2h00. After 11 hours, I should enter the meeting room to present my slides. I hope that my new year 2007, it should be more easier to pass.

After all, I still love you, HP!

Outstanding Contributer (2)

The 24 May, we moved to 12F as our new office. (I still love the atmosphere of 10F, with more space more silence, and more fresh air while less personal crush and noise...) The 1 June, I changed to Contract Operation as my new home here.

The formal onboard date for me is 3 July. Before, I use different NT domain to login the computer here and once get an alert due to "too many logon records" :p. After one week, I get my own number to access system...SAP O&C. However I prefer the compass, it's more beautiful :p And I get another to run a series system which have deep connection with SAP. They are complicated and old sometimes I met system problems. What I do has an official name, that's internal facing. I support other teammates. I did hundreds of quotation draft as a backup for easing the stress of peak season. And that's why I got this award. Life here is busy and stable. It's too fantastic for me to think of the past life before April. The hell seems far a way. And perhaps that's why I lose motive to update my blog...:p

I recontact AIESECers here. This office has two great company and old friends gather. Betty, my direct boss in AIESEC when I was a VP in NTULC. Tanya ,who I knew for participating in AP conference in Ausie in 2001. Sandy, who is 2 years elder than me works in P&G for support SKII stuff. This is important for me cause most of my AIESEC best friends are rare in Taiwan now. Of course I would ask myself often: why I am still here?

HP and AIESEC there are several points in common. They are international and they both have many special usages just for the ppl belonged there. The atmosphere is creative and open. Here I reget my feeling in working in AIESEC for my university life. Here it seems that I meet the same open-minded persons and collogues that I once co-worked in AIESEC as well. The only different is, in HP, system and regulation are solid, we need approval for more progressing, while in AIESEC, we use friendship to conquer each difficuly.

I think I should pause here. There's one sales who speak "too loud" in the office....

Outstanding Contributer (1)

"This is to appreciate your great contribution to our organization.
We hope you enjoy this award with your family members

Name Wallis Liu
Outstanding contribution:

Wallis supported customter facing admin: Rita, Lydia, Polly, and Yvonne to finish draft quotations, around 229 documents, during the peak season. Would like to use this award to thank her contribution."

The 4th Apil, 2006, the day when I entered the Hsin Yi Office of HP Taiwan, with delight and a little bit worry, I begin my career as a formal employee. Most familiar friends knew that my last working experiences gave me considerable negative impression. And that also resulted my distrust and disappointment toward getting along with people. And of course, this is the first time that I touched a real business, which means that isn't public sector, neither NPO or NGO. My first image for this business center is that I use excel frequently. The degree is too high for me to start thinking: Is word in my computer just for decoration? And comes after is the working stress. Of course people in HP never abuste me, instead, they really respect and take care of me. Everyone is so nice and ready to give you help if you needed no matter how heavy their workload is and how busy they are.

I work for system tranfsering for two months within an amazing team with great people. Why this team is amazing? Of course everyone is excellent in their duty. But what impresses me a lot is that everyone support different function. That means not so close interaction with each one for their work. We handle things independently and follow the related policy which may not be same in general. I spend 2.5 hours to learn two different systems, the newest and the oldest. And following one week, I leared how to support individually, yes "individually". I separate myself to adapt to everyone's expectation and make sure that I won't get confused. This is an interesting experience for me though I didn't do things too special. At least, I found myself capable for complicated system handling and strict quality of process. I am busy but I am happy. I work with press and I work with challenge.

After complete PBO, Compass, and Fusion, I got another chance to take full responsiblity in another team. I get my first chance for job rotation after two month. I think this kind of experience is unusual for other HP employees cause others get job rotation at leat with the experience of one and half a year. Different team, different culture, the what does not change is the business culture and the attitude toward new onboard member. People here are also kind....


to be continued

wallis.liu@hp.com

comme ca, wallis a commence sa nouvelle vie au HP Taiwan. Le 27 juin, apres passant son anniversaire de 25 ans, elle est devenue d'accepter sa nouvelle identitee--un gateau de noel. Et plus, elle a savu b ien qu'elle est deja expiree. Mais rien ne change car Wallis a fait attention a sa nouvelle chanllenge de nouveaux missions. La fin de cette mois, elle a fini son histoire douleuse pendent 9 mois. Pour elle, maintenant elle reprends le sentiment de vivre. Dans la societe amerique, elle a compris bien que la culture de travailler et la facon de commander, ceux tous importants pour le sentiment d'employee. Souvent Wallis doute si elle ne va bien qu'avec l'atmosphere tout feminine. Quand elle est fiere d'etre une feministe, est-ce que celui est un problem pour elle? Moi, je suis sure qu'elle est trop hereuse maintenant parce qu'elle croit bien que les femmes soient les plus mieux que les hommes sur leadership. Quoi est nouveau dans sa vie recement? Elle s'enjoie de regarder chaque match de la Coupe de monde 2006. Elle aime bien le soccer depuis cela 2002. Cependent son equipe preferee--le Bresil-- est deja elimine par une autre preferee--la France, n'import de quoi, Wallis a trouve le coeur de sa vie apres le travail. En fait, la vie de Wallis ne change pas beaucoup. Et elle est toujours paresseuse de completer son these de matrise. Si tu es un ami d'elle, demande-lui toujours pour combattre la paresse. Il faut le faire completement comme faire du sport pour sa sante!! Au moins, wallis.liu@hp.com. Et alors, bon courage!!

Between the twilight of chaos

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times,

it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness,

it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity,

it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness,

it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair,

we had everything before us, we had nothing before us,

we were all going direct to Heaven, we were all going direct the other way.



And that's the way it is now, I think!

Ciao TIER!!

Many friends of mine know that I use this blog space as a emotional trash can. I dropped too many negative messages here. But this time, this article, I want to share my feeling about how grateful that I am now!!

Ciao TIER, cependent j'ai travaille depuis 2.5 ans avec beaucoup amis et colleges, je pense que partir c'est mieux. Ciao TIER, c'est aussi mieux apres je t'ai laisse, alors je peux trouver que ce monde est tellement meillure. Ciao TIER, c'est encore mieux que je n'y aurais entre plus, et je pouvais me souvenir mes yeux avec hereux. Ciao TIER, maintenant je me prepare de partir. Ne t'inquiete pas!! Tout la douleur que tu m'as pose longtemps, je suis allee de l'oublier. Je sais bien si la nouvelle vie belle avec laquelle je reve de vivre, il faut t'abondonner. Ciao TIER, le moment arrive, j'ai besion de l'air plus libre et ouverte. Avec mon sac et joie, souhaite-moi un avenir beau. Dans la terre sous le soleil, je crois qu'il a des personnes qui m'attenendront!

Merci TIER, grace a toi, j'ai rencontre des amis tres sympas. Merci TIER, grace a toi, j'ai passe des incidents tres mauvais et alors je comprends que le monde n'est pas toujours joli. Merci TIER, grace a toi, j'ai gagne des opportunites d'experiencer le monde exterieur que toi. Et j'ai savu que la ciel est plus bleu que celle a toi. Merci TIER, grace a toi, j'ai commence d'entendre que la sante est tellement importante pour humaine. Merci TIER, je te remercie encore. Grace a toi, je peux comprends que la puissance est tellement terrible et le coeur de personne change immediatement. Personne ne vois le veritable visage facilment. Ne crois pas aucune personne facilement!

A la fin, avec beaucoup de merci et ciao, au moins, deux ans sont passes. La qualite de vie n'import de laide ou belle. Malgre les deux, moi, je vais continuer a vivre moi-meme bien!!

I believe that I want to cry

I'm passing an awful day. I just finished a terrible interaction with my superieur. I can't believe why people could chage face immediately. I just want to do myself and that's all. But am I wrong? Why those kind of boring and sucking stuffs always come bump into me? I start to doubt myself. Do I committe any error that I don't know?

I remembered that I applied one job that isn't called mermaid. But why I do more and more like a mermaid? Why she treats me more and more unpolitely? Is Power that makes people forget the right or the wrong? Is heirarchy that misleads people to have a preventive status? Is the small office that makes the mind narrower and narrower? And even is the low ceiling hiding the sky and that gives people a fatancy--I am the king of the world. I see the prejudice of Power and then I pain.

Human beings are intertwined with network, not status. Human beings are interdependent, not rely on obedience and discipline. I see so many ugly thins here and that makes me lose any confidence on sincerety. I find myself lost. I don't know how to interact. I question each action that people give me and try to analyse if they are rival. I feel sorry for myself because I distrust everyone more and more.

Equality is important. I passed nearly one year without euqlity. My health suffers and my mind does as well. A medium room with about 40 people, is it too complicated?

I believe that I want to cry. And if each tear could drop into word, I have believed that they can write a very painful story of mine. I pained long, and I find that my limit arrives just now. I can't afford any more and of course, can't suffer more. No more, please. If you're still human, no more. And Wallis, good day, good night, good luck.

在黑暗中，獨舞，抑或漫步？！

羅曼菲走了，然而那張輓歌的獨舞迴旋影，卻在我的心頭震盪，沒有停歇。

又是一個夜晚，我感到渾身躁熱，起身，我走出臥房，夜沁涼，卻到不了我週遭。平躺，一谷火再度自腳底焚燒至頭，我痛苦難耐，似乎淚水也蒸乾了，唯一能做，便是起身。在漆黑中，走回平穩的溫度。

那張劇照，羅曼菲著素衣，在黑暗的舞台，獨自迴旋。輓歌，離我太遙遠，那時只有八歲的我，不知道武力與血可怕，也不清楚獻出生命的自由，有多可貴。然而素衣，卻是黑暗中最明亮的寧靜。

翻來覆去，眼前仍是一片黑，我捨不得睜開眼，宣告：我又失眠了。賭氣，我不希望敗在莫名的躁熱之下。每翻一次身，我的意志，是黑暗中最清晰的指引，他有力的掙扎，並且不斷地嘶吼：我躺在一塊有如古墓派練功的冰床。

羅曼菲似是凝視舞衣，卻又注視著一點－－保持迴旋不墜的平衡點。那是獨舞的喜悅，黑暗，將她襯托得更明亮了，我可以想像，那是令人感動的轉動，不停歇地，是對生命的熱愛，及追求。

我看不到躁熱，黑暗中，眼前仍是一片黑暗，但是卻又清楚感受他的運動，自腳底而上，慢慢蔓延身軀、四肢，最後來到我的意志，這是痛苦的折磨，我卻又異常清楚地感受，也唯有接受。真是令人沮喪，原來生命的鬥士，永遠比生命的烈士付出更慘痛的代價。

輓歌，似是哀傷的舞碼，卻充滿著生命的力量，雖是黑暗中獨舞，卻令人感受光明與活力，時間是凝結的，如同劇照中靜止的舞者，凍結在，生命最美好的一課／刻上。

我感受到曙光，那是移動的象徵，躁熱將自腳底褪去，一如他來時路，然而失眠的疲倦，卻箝住我，陽光底下，沒又黑暗的曖昧，一切明朗。我自黑暗，漫步至光明，痛苦並未消失，身體是最大的黑暗，也是最大的囚籠，意志在獨舞，身體卻漫步，身體趕不上迴旋的意志，而意志也飛不出巨大的黑暗，有如在舞台上旋轉的舞者，終有停止之時，只是，這似乎並不是最美的一刻，那是痛苦的結晶，因為他被鐵絲綁住了。

Bureau Men /Settlement Women--Preface

一、緣起

Waldo的The Administrative State，"公共行政不只是一組極大化政府效能的工具，而是一整套關於政府的規範性理論”(Public administration...was not simply a set of techinical maxims for governmental efficiency but a full-blown normative theory of government)。Waldo視公共行政為政治哲學(think of public administration as a political philosophy)，也從歷史的角度來思考(and to think of it historically)，從此給了Cammilla不同的思考方向。

二、觀察角度

Waldo看到了位於公共行政的核心掙扎：行政效率及民主，仍持續成為行政學界討論的重點。Camilla基於Waldo的觀點--科學與商業仍視公共行政領域有所產出的重要力量(Sience and business as crucial forces shaping the emergence of the field)，加入了"性別"的角度。

三、故事內容

在大躍進的年代，及二十世紀出的二十年，男人與女人皆共同為了改善城市政府與都市生活而付出努力。然而，他們卻以截然不同的方式呈現，這些方式係基於男女於社會上被期待的性別角色，因此，即使男性與女性承受了相同的目標，卻轉化成不同的活動。簡單形容這類差異：男性的嚐試係使城市運作趨於商業化；而女性卻想使城市變得像一個家。

四、目的

如同Waldo所說，在一個缺乏女性作為及其對於這個領域貢獻的任何紀錄之下，任何說法都能成立，且具有說服力。然而，不去考慮女性的活動，很難想像出另一種迥異的模式(如Waldo所說的"古老政體")，故本書的目的，就是質疑這種"視為當然"的氛圍,這種氛圍充斥整個公共行政領域，並阻擋其預見了不同之可能。(As Waldo showed, in the absence of any knowledge about what women of the time were doing and what they might have contributed to the field's development, one can tell the story of public administration and tell it persuasively. But without considering women's activities, it is difficult to imagine an alternative other than, as Waldo wryly noted, the ancien regime. My project is aimed at calling into question this taken-for-granted quality, which permeates the field and keeps it from seeing what might be.)