Moi, je me depêche d'aller en reunion. Il est 13h25 et je pense que je serai au retard. Je regarde des personnes devant et commence à penser ma boîte de dejeuner. Je voudrais la nettoyer avant de joindre la reunion. Mais tellement beaucoup de personnes, je m'en inquiéte...
Une Madame arrive, elle semble de savoir mon inquiet et me parle à l'air très naturelle. ¨Toi, tu as besion d'aide?¨ ¨Oui, j'ai une reunion et je suis au retard mais je veux quane même nettoyer ma boîte de dejeuner. Et il y a beaucoup de personnes attendent...¨ ¨Bon, vas en reunion! Ne t'inquiétes pas! Je peux le faire pour toi!" Elle est sérieuse et je la regarde avec surprise. Elle me confirme encore une fois qu'elle peut le faire pour moi et prendre ma boîte directment.
Je suis revenue au bureau à 15h30 et je vois ma boîte de dejeuner popre laissée devant de mon ordinateur. Et il y a 3 thé dans celle. C'est une très bonne idée! J'adore l'aide que cette madame m'a donnée. Donc je lui dis Merci beaucoup chaque fois quand je la vois. Je pense que c'est un petit secret entre nous deux...
Celui serait un petit secret mais je suis racontée que beaucoup de personnes le savaient bien. Et je suis une seule du bureau qui a la prévilige d'avoir l'aide de cette madame. Cependant elle est résponsable de tout "12 etage", elle n'aide pas chaque personne individuelle. Ca me rends plus embarassée en particuliére quand je sais qu'elle dest déjà partie.
Je ne sais pas quel jour est le dernier pour elle. Mais quand même, la derniére phrase entre nous deux, c'est toujours "Je te remercie de m'aider à nettoyer la boîte de dejeuner". Et la derniére réponse d'elle à moi, c'est...
"ALORS, Chère Wallis, vous rappelleriez-vous me pour toujours ?"
"Bien sure oui, je vais souvenir de ton aide toujours, en particuliér quane je m'occupe de nettoyer ma boîte de dejeuner."
Bien sure oui, chère Madame! Pardonne-moi de t'appeler comme ça. Tu pars tout de suite et je ne pourrai pas avoir ton nom à temps. Et Je suis désolée aussi que je ne pourrais pas te dire "au revoir" pendant notre dernier dialogue. Je souhaite que tout vas bien avec toi. Merci et encore une fois!
dimanche, février 04, 2007
samedi, janvier 20, 2007
Scoring
This monring when I woke up, I turned on TV and heard an interesting song of Stanley Huang, which is named "scoring" (打分數 in Chinese).
The lyric makes me laugh a lot! It shows two styles woman that all men dream for. Of course these two types represent two extremely different "sexy" for men as well. They are party girls & well-mannered girls.
Party girls with spciy wearing, moving wildly and hot alone. Her body, her lips, and her dance are all so sexy to stick your eyes. How to score her? 7 or 8? When you try to approach her, she would proudly tell you who you think your are. You're just one of the crowds of men who have ever shown interests. Of course you feel terrible. "Shut up your mouth" and you began to decrease the score. Besides, you shit in your mind also to her: if you want to get more points, you had better shake your body more sexily!
In contrast, well-mannered girls are polite. They know all know-hows to handle a family. With their uniforms, you think that their innocent is sexy as well. How to score her? Perhaps 8 or 9. When you try to approach her, she would tell you that my dad says, "no touch, no kiss, and no hugs". No this, no that, of course no everything. Of course you feel "MY GOD" again. "Shut up your mouth" and apparently you decrease the score from 9 to 0. As result, you decide to give up.
Although "high heels is so sexy, lace is so sexy", you start to sigh....There's no perfect woman but all full of the 0-point women in your world. How to score?
To the dearest counter-part of the world, please score yourself before scoring others. You always dream for the both. And most women truly have the both but they change always. People say that "the women" is like "the cats". Women are always sexy, no matter within or without clothes. They are born artice. Don't use your stupid eye on their deep actions. Or you could score 0 to all women in the world and you successfully get nothing.
歌名︰打分數作詞：崔惟楷/黃立行 作曲：Jao Chong/黃立行
Party girls故意穿得辣 就是怕我不盯住她
一個人跳 態度殺 幫她打個分數 應該7或8
sexy她的嘴唇翹的 so sexy 她的水蛇腰is so sexy
party girls好騷 每個有一套 搖出18招
想要跟我喝一杯你以為你是誰
知不知道每天追我男人有一堆
天啊扣分 給我shut your mouth
要從4變8 你最好用力搖
High heels so sexy Lace is so sexy
滿分的女人我找不到 0分的女人都到處跑
High heels so sexy Lace is so sexy
到底打幾分 滿分不是你 到底打幾分 34567
High heels so sexy Lace is so sexy
滿分的女人我找不到 0分的女人都到處跑
High heels so sexy Lace is so sexy
到底打幾分 滿分不是你 到底打幾分 34567
乖乖牌長得超可愛 有禮貌一點都不跩
愛做家事 愛煮菜 幫她打個分數給她8 or 9
sexy穿著學生服is so sexy 她的表情無辜so sexy
一副在等待 我這個黑馬王子 把她救出來
爸爸說我不能牽手不能給你親
這個不行 那個不行 什麼都不行
天啊扣分 給我shut your mouth
你這個9變4 我放牛吃草
High heels so sexy Lace is so sexy
滿分的女人我找不到 0分的女人都到處跑
High heels so sexy Lace is so sexy
到底打幾分 滿分不是你 到底打幾分 54321
High heels so sexy Lace is so sexy
滿分的女人我找不到 0分的女人都到處跑
High heels so sexy Lace is so sexy
到底打幾分 滿分不是你 到底打幾分 34567
The lyric makes me laugh a lot! It shows two styles woman that all men dream for. Of course these two types represent two extremely different "sexy" for men as well. They are party girls & well-mannered girls.
Party girls with spciy wearing, moving wildly and hot alone. Her body, her lips, and her dance are all so sexy to stick your eyes. How to score her? 7 or 8? When you try to approach her, she would proudly tell you who you think your are. You're just one of the crowds of men who have ever shown interests. Of course you feel terrible. "Shut up your mouth" and you began to decrease the score. Besides, you shit in your mind also to her: if you want to get more points, you had better shake your body more sexily!
In contrast, well-mannered girls are polite. They know all know-hows to handle a family. With their uniforms, you think that their innocent is sexy as well. How to score her? Perhaps 8 or 9. When you try to approach her, she would tell you that my dad says, "no touch, no kiss, and no hugs". No this, no that, of course no everything. Of course you feel "MY GOD" again. "Shut up your mouth" and apparently you decrease the score from 9 to 0. As result, you decide to give up.
Although "high heels is so sexy, lace is so sexy", you start to sigh....There's no perfect woman but all full of the 0-point women in your world. How to score?
To the dearest counter-part of the world, please score yourself before scoring others. You always dream for the both. And most women truly have the both but they change always. People say that "the women" is like "the cats". Women are always sexy, no matter within or without clothes. They are born artice. Don't use your stupid eye on their deep actions. Or you could score 0 to all women in the world and you successfully get nothing.
歌名︰打分數作詞：崔惟楷/黃立行 作曲：Jao Chong/黃立行
Party girls故意穿得辣 就是怕我不盯住她
一個人跳 態度殺 幫她打個分數 應該7或8
sexy她的嘴唇翹的 so sexy 她的水蛇腰is so sexy
party girls好騷 每個有一套 搖出18招
想要跟我喝一杯你以為你是誰
知不知道每天追我男人有一堆
天啊扣分 給我shut your mouth
要從4變8 你最好用力搖
High heels so sexy Lace is so sexy
滿分的女人我找不到 0分的女人都到處跑
High heels so sexy Lace is so sexy
到底打幾分 滿分不是你 到底打幾分 34567
High heels so sexy Lace is so sexy
滿分的女人我找不到 0分的女人都到處跑
High heels so sexy Lace is so sexy
到底打幾分 滿分不是你 到底打幾分 34567
乖乖牌長得超可愛 有禮貌一點都不跩
愛做家事 愛煮菜 幫她打個分數給她8 or 9
sexy穿著學生服is so sexy 她的表情無辜so sexy
一副在等待 我這個黑馬王子 把她救出來
爸爸說我不能牽手不能給你親
這個不行 那個不行 什麼都不行
天啊扣分 給我shut your mouth
你這個9變4 我放牛吃草
High heels so sexy Lace is so sexy
滿分的女人我找不到 0分的女人都到處跑
High heels so sexy Lace is so sexy
到底打幾分 滿分不是你 到底打幾分 54321
High heels so sexy Lace is so sexy
滿分的女人我找不到 0分的女人都到處跑
High heels so sexy Lace is so sexy
到底打幾分 滿分不是你 到底打幾分 34567
jeudi, janvier 18, 2007
洛神賦
Dear Rose
I know that you always want to put me into death, with same the cruel action treated on 甄宓. It is OK for me. With the following attachment, I hope that I would be a such perfect woman as she is the article of 曹植. And more, in this classic composition, we all know that death can't cover a great woman easily, not only for her beauty but also for the paradigm that she established. Anyway, FYI! Any comment is welcomed!
洛神賦 曹植
黃 初 三 年， 余 朝 京 師 ， 還 濟 洛 川 。
古人 有 言 ， 斯 水 之 神 ， 名 曰 宓 妃 。
感 宋 玉 對 楚 王 神 女 之 事 ， 遂 作 斯 賦 。 其 辭 曰 ：
余 從 京 域 言 歸 東 藩 。背 伊 闕 ， 越 轘 轅 。 經 通 谷 ， 陵 景 山 。日 既 西 傾 ， 車 殆 馬 煩。 爾 迺 稅 駕 乎 蘅 皋 ， 秣 駟 乎 芝 田 。容 與 乎 陽 林 ， 流 眄 乎 洛 川。 於 是 精 移 神 駭， 忽 焉 思 散 。 俯 則 未 察 ， 仰 以 殊 觀 。睹一 麗 人 ， 于 巖 之 畔 。迺 援 御 者 而 告之 曰 ： 「 爾 有 覿 於 彼 者 乎 ？ 彼 何 人 斯， 若 此 之 豔 也 ？ 」 御 者 對 曰 ： 「 臣 聞 河 洛 之 神 ， 名 曰 宓 妃， 然 則 君 王 所 見 ， 無 迺 是 乎 ？ 其 狀 若 何 ？ 臣 願 聞 之 。 」
余 告 之 曰：其 形 也 ， 翩 若 驚 鴻 ， 婉 若 遊 龍 。 榮 曜 秋 菊 ， 華 茂 春 松 。
髣 彿 兮 若 輕 雲 之 蔽 月 ， 飄 颻 兮 若 流 風 之 迴 雪 。
遠 而 望 之 ， 皎 若 太 陽升 朝 霞；迫 而 察 之 ，灼 若 芙 蕖 出 淥 波 。
襛 纖 得 衷 ， 脩 短 合 度 。肩 若 削 成 ， 腰 如 約 素 。
延 頸 秀 項 ， 皓 質 呈 露 。芳 澤 無 加 ， 鉛 華 弗 御 。
雲 髻 峨 峨 ， 脩 眉 聯 娟 。丹 脣 外 朗 ， 皓 齒 內 鮮 。
明 眸 善 睞 ， 靨 輔 承 權 。瑰 姿 豔 逸 ， 儀 靜 體 閑 。
柔 情 綽 態 ， 媚 於 語 言 。奇 服 曠 世 ， 骨 像 應 圖 。
披 羅 衣 之 璀 粲 兮， 珥 瑤 碧 之 華 琚。
戴 金 翠 之 首 飾 ， 綴 明 珠 以 耀 軀 。
踐 遠 遊 之 文 履 ， 曳 霧 綃 之 輕 裾 。
微 幽 蘭 之 芳 藹 兮 ， 步 踟 躕 於 山 隅 。
於 是 忽 焉 縱 體 ， 以 遨 以 嬉 。 左 倚 采 旄 ， 右 蔭 桂 旗 。
攘 皓 腕 於 神 滸 兮 ， 采 湍 瀨 之 玄 芝。
余 情 悅 其 淑 美 兮 ， 心 振 蕩 而 不 怡 。
無 良 媒 以 接 懽 兮 ， 託 微 波 而 通 辭 。
願 誠 素 之 先 達 兮 ， 解 玉 佩 以 要 之。
嗟 佳 人 之 信 脩 ， 羌 習 禮 而 明 詩 。
抗 瓊 珶 以 和 予 兮 ， 指 潛 淵 而 為 期 。
執 眷 眷 之 款 實 兮 ， 懼 斯 靈 之 我 欺。
感 交 甫 之 棄 言 兮 ， 悵 猶 豫 而 狐 疑 。
收 和 顏 而 靜 志 兮 ， 申 禮 防 以 自 持 。
於 是 洛 靈 感 焉 ， 徙 倚 傍 徨 。神光 離 合 ， 乍 陰 乍 陽 。
竦 輕 軀 以 鶴 立， 若 將 飛 而 未 翔 。
踐 椒 塗 之郁 烈 ， 步 蘅 薄 而 流 芳 。
超 長 吟 以 永 慕 兮 ， 聲 哀 厲 而 彌 長 。
爾 迺 眾 靈 雜 遝 ， 命 儔 嘯 侶 。
或 戲 清 流 ， 或 翔 神 渚 。 或 采 明 珠 ， 或 拾 翠 羽 。
從 南 湘 之 二 妃 ， 攜 漢 濱 之 游 女 。
歎 匏 瓜 之 無 匹 兮 ， 詠 牽 牛 之 獨 處 。
揚 輕 褂 之 猗 靡兮 ， 翳 脩 袖 以 延 佇 。
體 迅 飛 鳧 ， 飄 忽 若 神 。 陵 波 微 步 ， 羅 襪 生 塵 。
動 無 常 則 ， 若 危 若 安 。 進 止 難 期 ， 若 往 若 還 。
轉 眄 流 精 ， 光 潤 玉 顏 。 含 辭 未 吐 ， 氣 若 幽 蘭 。
華 容 婀 娜 ， 令 我 亡 懷 。
於 是 屏 翳 收 風 ， 川 后 靜 波 。 馮 夷 鳴 鼓 ， 女 媧 清 歌 。
騰 文 魚 以 警 乘 ， 鳴 玉 鸞 以 偕 逝 。
六 龍 儼 其 齊 首 ， 載 雲 車 之 容 裔 。
鯨 鯢 踊 而 夾 轂 ， 水 禽 翔 而 為 衛 。
於 是 越 北 沚 ， 過 南 岡 。 紆 素 領 ， 迴 清 陽 。
動 朱 脣 以 徐 言 ， 陳 交 接 之 大 綱 。
恨 人 神 之 道 殊 兮 ， 怨 盛 年 之 莫 當 。
抗 羅 袂 以 掩 涕 兮 ， 淚 流 襟 之 浪 浪 。
悼 良 會 之 永 絕 兮 ， 哀 一 逝 而 異 鄉 。
無 微 情 以 效 愛 兮 ， 獻 江 南 之明 璫 。
雖 潛 處 於 太 陰 ， 長 寄 心 於 君 王 。
於 是 背 下 陵 高 ， 足 往 神 留 。 遺 情 想 像 ， 顧 望 懷 愁 。
冀 靈 體 之 復 形 ， 御 輕 舟 而 上 溯 。
浮 長 川 而 忘 反 ， 思 綿 綿 而 增 慕 。
夜 耿 耿 而 不 寐 ， 霑 繁 霜 而 至 曙 。
命 僕 夫 而 就 駕 ， 吾 將 歸 乎 東 路 。
攬 騑 轡 以 抗 策 ， 悵 盤 桓 而不 能 去 。
I know that you always want to put me into death, with same the cruel action treated on 甄宓. It is OK for me. With the following attachment, I hope that I would be a such perfect woman as she is the article of 曹植. And more, in this classic composition, we all know that death can't cover a great woman easily, not only for her beauty but also for the paradigm that she established. Anyway, FYI! Any comment is welcomed!
洛神賦 曹植
黃 初 三 年， 余 朝 京 師 ， 還 濟 洛 川 。
古人 有 言 ， 斯 水 之 神 ， 名 曰 宓 妃 。
感 宋 玉 對 楚 王 神 女 之 事 ， 遂 作 斯 賦 。 其 辭 曰 ：
余 從 京 域 言 歸 東 藩 。背 伊 闕 ， 越 轘 轅 。 經 通 谷 ， 陵 景 山 。日 既 西 傾 ， 車 殆 馬 煩。 爾 迺 稅 駕 乎 蘅 皋 ， 秣 駟 乎 芝 田 。容 與 乎 陽 林 ， 流 眄 乎 洛 川。 於 是 精 移 神 駭， 忽 焉 思 散 。 俯 則 未 察 ， 仰 以 殊 觀 。睹一 麗 人 ， 于 巖 之 畔 。迺 援 御 者 而 告之 曰 ： 「 爾 有 覿 於 彼 者 乎 ？ 彼 何 人 斯， 若 此 之 豔 也 ？ 」 御 者 對 曰 ： 「 臣 聞 河 洛 之 神 ， 名 曰 宓 妃， 然 則 君 王 所 見 ， 無 迺 是 乎 ？ 其 狀 若 何 ？ 臣 願 聞 之 。 」
余 告 之 曰：其 形 也 ， 翩 若 驚 鴻 ， 婉 若 遊 龍 。 榮 曜 秋 菊 ， 華 茂 春 松 。
髣 彿 兮 若 輕 雲 之 蔽 月 ， 飄 颻 兮 若 流 風 之 迴 雪 。
遠 而 望 之 ， 皎 若 太 陽升 朝 霞；迫 而 察 之 ，灼 若 芙 蕖 出 淥 波 。
襛 纖 得 衷 ， 脩 短 合 度 。肩 若 削 成 ， 腰 如 約 素 。
延 頸 秀 項 ， 皓 質 呈 露 。芳 澤 無 加 ， 鉛 華 弗 御 。
雲 髻 峨 峨 ， 脩 眉 聯 娟 。丹 脣 外 朗 ， 皓 齒 內 鮮 。
明 眸 善 睞 ， 靨 輔 承 權 。瑰 姿 豔 逸 ， 儀 靜 體 閑 。
柔 情 綽 態 ， 媚 於 語 言 。奇 服 曠 世 ， 骨 像 應 圖 。
披 羅 衣 之 璀 粲 兮， 珥 瑤 碧 之 華 琚。
戴 金 翠 之 首 飾 ， 綴 明 珠 以 耀 軀 。
踐 遠 遊 之 文 履 ， 曳 霧 綃 之 輕 裾 。
微 幽 蘭 之 芳 藹 兮 ， 步 踟 躕 於 山 隅 。
於 是 忽 焉 縱 體 ， 以 遨 以 嬉 。 左 倚 采 旄 ， 右 蔭 桂 旗 。
攘 皓 腕 於 神 滸 兮 ， 采 湍 瀨 之 玄 芝。
余 情 悅 其 淑 美 兮 ， 心 振 蕩 而 不 怡 。
無 良 媒 以 接 懽 兮 ， 託 微 波 而 通 辭 。
願 誠 素 之 先 達 兮 ， 解 玉 佩 以 要 之。
嗟 佳 人 之 信 脩 ， 羌 習 禮 而 明 詩 。
抗 瓊 珶 以 和 予 兮 ， 指 潛 淵 而 為 期 。
執 眷 眷 之 款 實 兮 ， 懼 斯 靈 之 我 欺。
感 交 甫 之 棄 言 兮 ， 悵 猶 豫 而 狐 疑 。
收 和 顏 而 靜 志 兮 ， 申 禮 防 以 自 持 。
於 是 洛 靈 感 焉 ， 徙 倚 傍 徨 。神光 離 合 ， 乍 陰 乍 陽 。
竦 輕 軀 以 鶴 立， 若 將 飛 而 未 翔 。
踐 椒 塗 之郁 烈 ， 步 蘅 薄 而 流 芳 。
超 長 吟 以 永 慕 兮 ， 聲 哀 厲 而 彌 長 。
爾 迺 眾 靈 雜 遝 ， 命 儔 嘯 侶 。
或 戲 清 流 ， 或 翔 神 渚 。 或 采 明 珠 ， 或 拾 翠 羽 。
從 南 湘 之 二 妃 ， 攜 漢 濱 之 游 女 。
歎 匏 瓜 之 無 匹 兮 ， 詠 牽 牛 之 獨 處 。
揚 輕 褂 之 猗 靡兮 ， 翳 脩 袖 以 延 佇 。
體 迅 飛 鳧 ， 飄 忽 若 神 。 陵 波 微 步 ， 羅 襪 生 塵 。
動 無 常 則 ， 若 危 若 安 。 進 止 難 期 ， 若 往 若 還 。
轉 眄 流 精 ， 光 潤 玉 顏 。 含 辭 未 吐 ， 氣 若 幽 蘭 。
華 容 婀 娜 ， 令 我 亡 懷 。
於 是 屏 翳 收 風 ， 川 后 靜 波 。 馮 夷 鳴 鼓 ， 女 媧 清 歌 。
騰 文 魚 以 警 乘 ， 鳴 玉 鸞 以 偕 逝 。
六 龍 儼 其 齊 首 ， 載 雲 車 之 容 裔 。
鯨 鯢 踊 而 夾 轂 ， 水 禽 翔 而 為 衛 。
於 是 越 北 沚 ， 過 南 岡 。 紆 素 領 ， 迴 清 陽 。
動 朱 脣 以 徐 言 ， 陳 交 接 之 大 綱 。
恨 人 神 之 道 殊 兮 ， 怨 盛 年 之 莫 當 。
抗 羅 袂 以 掩 涕 兮 ， 淚 流 襟 之 浪 浪 。
悼 良 會 之 永 絕 兮 ， 哀 一 逝 而 異 鄉 。
無 微 情 以 效 愛 兮 ， 獻 江 南 之明 璫 。
雖 潛 處 於 太 陰 ， 長 寄 心 於 君 王 。
於 是 背 下 陵 高 ， 足 往 神 留 。 遺 情 想 像 ， 顧 望 懷 愁 。
冀 靈 體 之 復 形 ， 御 輕 舟 而 上 溯 。
浮 長 川 而 忘 反 ， 思 綿 綿 而 增 慕 。
夜 耿 耿 而 不 寐 ， 霑 繁 霜 而 至 曙 。
命 僕 夫 而 就 駕 ， 吾 將 歸 乎 東 路 。
攬 騑 轡 以 抗 策 ， 悵 盤 桓 而不 能 去 。
mardi, janvier 16, 2007
Une Soirée pasée à ICU
Lundi soir, 18h00, je me suis dépêchée d'aller a l'hopital NTU. Il y a 14 mois que je n'y suis pas allée. Mon coeur est toujours compliqué quand meme. Cette fois, je suis pas une patiente, mais je vais visiter ma grand mère.
ICU, est la ou elle habite récement.Elle est dans une grande chambre avec 11 autres patients, accompagnés par l'équipe médicale. Les visites de familles sont interdites, sauf pour évenement spécial. Selon mes parents,elle changent souvent de voisins de chambre. Ils éprouvent la vie et la mort en un après midi. On ne trouve rien içi, sauf la fragilité de la vie.
J'arrive finalement à 19h00, les visiteurs et les patients se cotoient dans les couloirs, dans l'hopital. J'ai vu mes parents et la famille de ma mère. Cela fait longtemps que je ne les ai pas vus. Je trouve qu'on se rencontre souvent à l'hopital ces dernières années. Je n'aime pas du tout l'hopital, mais je retrouve ma famille içi. Je connais bien la situation et l'atmosphere de l'hopital, alors ça ne me perturbe pas. Beaucoup de mes collègues me trouvent étrange. Je suis trop tranquille. Mais je crois que tout le monde pourra l'être comme moi s'il a passé tellement beaucoup de temps à l'hopitale.
Jje pense que pour ma grand mère, sa situation s'améliore. Elle me reconnait, elle sait qui je suis. Elle pourrait m'appeler quand je suis à cotée de son lit, mais cependant elle a des situations difficiles à résoudre. J'ai commencée à penser...Ma grand mère et moi, on a des problèmes de santé en commun. Notre seule difference, c'est l'âge. Bien sure je suis plus jeune. Dans le futur, il est probable que je rencontre les mêmes difficultées qu'ellle. Pour moi c'est une chance de comprendre...la beauté de la vie ce n'est pas seulement la puissance et le bonheur, mais aussi sa fragilité et la douleur..sans quoi nous ne pouvons apprécier le reste.
19h30 la visite s'achève. C'est vrai que je ne suis pas trop surprise ni inquiète. Peut-être parce que j'ai eue un mariage en Avril, la mort en Mai, et, la naissance en Juin. Ce sont les choses les plus importantes dans une vie que j'ai rencontrée en 2006. Le cycle de la vie. C'est ça.
ICU, est la ou elle habite récement.Elle est dans une grande chambre avec 11 autres patients, accompagnés par l'équipe médicale. Les visites de familles sont interdites, sauf pour évenement spécial. Selon mes parents,elle changent souvent de voisins de chambre. Ils éprouvent la vie et la mort en un après midi. On ne trouve rien içi, sauf la fragilité de la vie.
J'arrive finalement à 19h00, les visiteurs et les patients se cotoient dans les couloirs, dans l'hopital. J'ai vu mes parents et la famille de ma mère. Cela fait longtemps que je ne les ai pas vus. Je trouve qu'on se rencontre souvent à l'hopital ces dernières années. Je n'aime pas du tout l'hopital, mais je retrouve ma famille içi. Je connais bien la situation et l'atmosphere de l'hopital, alors ça ne me perturbe pas. Beaucoup de mes collègues me trouvent étrange. Je suis trop tranquille. Mais je crois que tout le monde pourra l'être comme moi s'il a passé tellement beaucoup de temps à l'hopitale.
Jje pense que pour ma grand mère, sa situation s'améliore. Elle me reconnait, elle sait qui je suis. Elle pourrait m'appeler quand je suis à cotée de son lit, mais cependant elle a des situations difficiles à résoudre. J'ai commencée à penser...Ma grand mère et moi, on a des problèmes de santé en commun. Notre seule difference, c'est l'âge. Bien sure je suis plus jeune. Dans le futur, il est probable que je rencontre les mêmes difficultées qu'ellle. Pour moi c'est une chance de comprendre...la beauté de la vie ce n'est pas seulement la puissance et le bonheur, mais aussi sa fragilité et la douleur..sans quoi nous ne pouvons apprécier le reste.
19h30 la visite s'achève. C'est vrai que je ne suis pas trop surprise ni inquiète. Peut-être parce que j'ai eue un mariage en Avril, la mort en Mai, et, la naissance en Juin. Ce sont les choses les plus importantes dans une vie que j'ai rencontrée en 2006. Le cycle de la vie. C'est ça.
samedi, janvier 13, 2007
Tiger Huang--the voice memorable
I have no special feeling when I was informed that our year-end party would be held in Jong-Shan Building, which was the location of national parliament before. With worry, I borrowed a traditional Chinese suite from my mom in order to follow the directions of invitators. And for the prizes, I always know that they won't be prepared for me. But Tiger Huang, a famous singer here, was invited to have the show in our party. That's what I expect!
She's not the most beloved singer for me. However, her voice and some of her songs are definitely affective and attractive. She sang some old and classic songs here, whicn really brought me to the memorable old time through her strong voice. She didn't bring fashion show-clothes and fantastic band but with her and the spot light of her, we all experienced the charm and the power of "live show". Although it's not really correspondent to the style of Jong-Shan building, her voice really catch all eyes of the party. Compared to her show, the feast and the prize are not expective to me anymore.
Tiger Huang, you are deserved to be called as "pub queen"!! I'd like to experience once more your live show again! Encore et Bravo!
She's not the most beloved singer for me. However, her voice and some of her songs are definitely affective and attractive. She sang some old and classic songs here, whicn really brought me to the memorable old time through her strong voice. She didn't bring fashion show-clothes and fantastic band but with her and the spot light of her, we all experienced the charm and the power of "live show". Although it's not really correspondent to the style of Jong-Shan building, her voice really catch all eyes of the party. Compared to her show, the feast and the prize are not expective to me anymore.
Tiger Huang, you are deserved to be called as "pub queen"!! I'd like to experience once more your live show again! Encore et Bravo!
vendredi, janvier 12, 2007
It's all coming back to me now!!
I admit that I'm too naive.
When I saw the prediction of Zodiac for Cancer 2007, which said that 2007 would be a busy year for Cancer, I put it aside and thought, "That's really ridiculous!" But now, I know that I'm wrong.
After my working life since April 2006, the Friday of 31 December, which is the first day that I stayed in the office even though the air conditioner had already been turned off. And unbelievable, I experienced the same after one week. I think that I need to shout out cause I have too many stuffs since I was back to office.
The August for me is really stressful. But I think that it's worth cause my tough effort got rewards as the best contribution on Q4 last year. I thought that I got rid of those mountain-high quotations since I all handed out. But now, they all became the contracts and came back to me now....
I didn't dare to caculate how many contracts that I prepared. Besides, I run more amortization tables which should be the total amounts of two months. My working life is terribly busy. Thursday afternoon, I got two hours free since a busy working morning. I'm starting to think that the hell is passed and the heaven is coming. Now I should worry how to dress up for the HP year end party on Friday night, which requires us to be show off with Chinese style. But I was happy too early. I forgot that I had a meeting before the party. And I underestimated it. Although I knew that I should prepare to share my function, I didn't think that I should prepare with slides.
At 17h30, my collogue told me that one new member prepared the slide for presentation. I still had the thought that....I needn't...Hey, just 15 minutes, why work so hard? And it's Friday, come on let's have fun than serious presentation. 18h47, the moment when I still helped one collegue to progress a report, I recieved a mail from a senior collegue. And she came to my seat to ask me if I recieved the template of slide. OH MY GOD. Actually, I wanted to leave the office as soon as possible after busy working, which means that I didn't have enough time to drink even a cup of water or go to toilet. It's near 19h00 and I need to think of my dress tomorrow. Of course, I don't like to do it. But it seems that I can't skip....
So I decided to leave the office immediately in case any urgence occurs. Then it's the first time that I brought my work home. And that's because I wrote this on my blog. Now it's 2h00. After 11 hours, I should enter the meeting room to present my slides. I hope that my new year 2007, it should be more easier to pass.
After all, I still love you, HP!
When I saw the prediction of Zodiac for Cancer 2007, which said that 2007 would be a busy year for Cancer, I put it aside and thought, "That's really ridiculous!" But now, I know that I'm wrong.
After my working life since April 2006, the Friday of 31 December, which is the first day that I stayed in the office even though the air conditioner had already been turned off. And unbelievable, I experienced the same after one week. I think that I need to shout out cause I have too many stuffs since I was back to office.
The August for me is really stressful. But I think that it's worth cause my tough effort got rewards as the best contribution on Q4 last year. I thought that I got rid of those mountain-high quotations since I all handed out. But now, they all became the contracts and came back to me now....
I didn't dare to caculate how many contracts that I prepared. Besides, I run more amortization tables which should be the total amounts of two months. My working life is terribly busy. Thursday afternoon, I got two hours free since a busy working morning. I'm starting to think that the hell is passed and the heaven is coming. Now I should worry how to dress up for the HP year end party on Friday night, which requires us to be show off with Chinese style. But I was happy too early. I forgot that I had a meeting before the party. And I underestimated it. Although I knew that I should prepare to share my function, I didn't think that I should prepare with slides.
At 17h30, my collogue told me that one new member prepared the slide for presentation. I still had the thought that....I needn't...Hey, just 15 minutes, why work so hard? And it's Friday, come on let's have fun than serious presentation. 18h47, the moment when I still helped one collegue to progress a report, I recieved a mail from a senior collegue. And she came to my seat to ask me if I recieved the template of slide. OH MY GOD. Actually, I wanted to leave the office as soon as possible after busy working, which means that I didn't have enough time to drink even a cup of water or go to toilet. It's near 19h00 and I need to think of my dress tomorrow. Of course, I don't like to do it. But it seems that I can't skip....
So I decided to leave the office immediately in case any urgence occurs. Then it's the first time that I brought my work home. And that's because I wrote this on my blog. Now it's 2h00. After 11 hours, I should enter the meeting room to present my slides. I hope that my new year 2007, it should be more easier to pass.
After all, I still love you, HP!
mercredi, novembre 15, 2006
Outstanding Contributer (2)
The 24 May, we moved to 12F as our new office. (I still love the atmosphere of 10F, with more space more silence, and more fresh air while less personal crush and noise...) The 1 June, I changed to Contract Operation as my new home here.
The formal onboard date for me is 3 July. Before, I use different NT domain to login the computer here and once get an alert due to "too many logon records" :p. After one week, I get my own number to access system...SAP O&C. However I prefer the compass, it's more beautiful :p And I get another to run a series system which have deep connection with SAP. They are complicated and old sometimes I met system problems. What I do has an official name, that's internal facing. I support other teammates. I did hundreds of quotation draft as a backup for easing the stress of peak season. And that's why I got this award. Life here is busy and stable. It's too fantastic for me to think of the past life before April. The hell seems far a way. And perhaps that's why I lose motive to update my blog...:p
I recontact AIESECers here. This office has two great company and old friends gather. Betty, my direct boss in AIESEC when I was a VP in NTULC. Tanya ,who I knew for participating in AP conference in Ausie in 2001. Sandy, who is 2 years elder than me works in P&G for support SKII stuff. This is important for me cause most of my AIESEC best friends are rare in Taiwan now. Of course I would ask myself often: why I am still here?
HP and AIESEC there are several points in common. They are international and they both have many special usages just for the ppl belonged there. The atmosphere is creative and open. Here I reget my feeling in working in AIESEC for my university life. Here it seems that I meet the same open-minded persons and collogues that I once co-worked in AIESEC as well. The only different is, in HP, system and regulation are solid, we need approval for more progressing, while in AIESEC, we use friendship to conquer each difficuly.
I think I should pause here. There's one sales who speak "too loud" in the office....
The formal onboard date for me is 3 July. Before, I use different NT domain to login the computer here and once get an alert due to "too many logon records" :p. After one week, I get my own number to access system...SAP O&C. However I prefer the compass, it's more beautiful :p And I get another to run a series system which have deep connection with SAP. They are complicated and old sometimes I met system problems. What I do has an official name, that's internal facing. I support other teammates. I did hundreds of quotation draft as a backup for easing the stress of peak season. And that's why I got this award. Life here is busy and stable. It's too fantastic for me to think of the past life before April. The hell seems far a way. And perhaps that's why I lose motive to update my blog...:p
I recontact AIESECers here. This office has two great company and old friends gather. Betty, my direct boss in AIESEC when I was a VP in NTULC. Tanya ,who I knew for participating in AP conference in Ausie in 2001. Sandy, who is 2 years elder than me works in P&G for support SKII stuff. This is important for me cause most of my AIESEC best friends are rare in Taiwan now. Of course I would ask myself often: why I am still here?
HP and AIESEC there are several points in common. They are international and they both have many special usages just for the ppl belonged there. The atmosphere is creative and open. Here I reget my feeling in working in AIESEC for my university life. Here it seems that I meet the same open-minded persons and collogues that I once co-worked in AIESEC as well. The only different is, in HP, system and regulation are solid, we need approval for more progressing, while in AIESEC, we use friendship to conquer each difficuly.
I think I should pause here. There's one sales who speak "too loud" in the office....
dimanche, octobre 22, 2006
Outstanding Contributer (1)
"This is to appreciate your great contribution to our organization.
We hope you enjoy this award with your family members
Name Wallis Liu
Outstanding contribution:
Wallis supported customter facing admin: Rita, Lydia, Polly, and Yvonne to finish draft quotations, around 229 documents, during the peak season. Would like to use this award to thank her contribution."
The 4th Apil, 2006, the day when I entered the Hsin Yi Office of HP Taiwan, with delight and a little bit worry, I begin my career as a formal employee. Most familiar friends knew that my last working experiences gave me considerable negative impression. And that also resulted my distrust and disappointment toward getting along with people. And of course, this is the first time that I touched a real business, which means that isn't public sector, neither NPO or NGO. My first image for this business center is that I use excel frequently. The degree is too high for me to start thinking: Is word in my computer just for decoration? And comes after is the working stress. Of course people in HP never abuste me, instead, they really respect and take care of me. Everyone is so nice and ready to give you help if you needed no matter how heavy their workload is and how busy they are.
I work for system tranfsering for two months within an amazing team with great people. Why this team is amazing? Of course everyone is excellent in their duty. But what impresses me a lot is that everyone support different function. That means not so close interaction with each one for their work. We handle things independently and follow the related policy which may not be same in general. I spend 2.5 hours to learn two different systems, the newest and the oldest. And following one week, I leared how to support individually, yes "individually". I separate myself to adapt to everyone's expectation and make sure that I won't get confused. This is an interesting experience for me though I didn't do things too special. At least, I found myself capable for complicated system handling and strict quality of process. I am busy but I am happy. I work with press and I work with challenge.
After complete PBO, Compass, and Fusion, I got another chance to take full responsiblity in another team. I get my first chance for job rotation after two month. I think this kind of experience is unusual for other HP employees cause others get job rotation at leat with the experience of one and half a year. Different team, different culture, the what does not change is the business culture and the attitude toward new onboard member. People here are also kind....
to be continued
We hope you enjoy this award with your family members
Name Wallis Liu
Outstanding contribution:
Wallis supported customter facing admin: Rita, Lydia, Polly, and Yvonne to finish draft quotations, around 229 documents, during the peak season. Would like to use this award to thank her contribution."
The 4th Apil, 2006, the day when I entered the Hsin Yi Office of HP Taiwan, with delight and a little bit worry, I begin my career as a formal employee. Most familiar friends knew that my last working experiences gave me considerable negative impression. And that also resulted my distrust and disappointment toward getting along with people. And of course, this is the first time that I touched a real business, which means that isn't public sector, neither NPO or NGO. My first image for this business center is that I use excel frequently. The degree is too high for me to start thinking: Is word in my computer just for decoration? And comes after is the working stress. Of course people in HP never abuste me, instead, they really respect and take care of me. Everyone is so nice and ready to give you help if you needed no matter how heavy their workload is and how busy they are.
I work for system tranfsering for two months within an amazing team with great people. Why this team is amazing? Of course everyone is excellent in their duty. But what impresses me a lot is that everyone support different function. That means not so close interaction with each one for their work. We handle things independently and follow the related policy which may not be same in general. I spend 2.5 hours to learn two different systems, the newest and the oldest. And following one week, I leared how to support individually, yes "individually". I separate myself to adapt to everyone's expectation and make sure that I won't get confused. This is an interesting experience for me though I didn't do things too special. At least, I found myself capable for complicated system handling and strict quality of process. I am busy but I am happy. I work with press and I work with challenge.
After complete PBO, Compass, and Fusion, I got another chance to take full responsiblity in another team. I get my first chance for job rotation after two month. I think this kind of experience is unusual for other HP employees cause others get job rotation at leat with the experience of one and half a year. Different team, different culture, the what does not change is the business culture and the attitude toward new onboard member. People here are also kind....
to be continued
mardi, juillet 04, 2006
wallis.liu@hp.com
comme ca, wallis a commence sa nouvelle vie au HP Taiwan. Le 27 juin, apres passant son anniversaire de 25 ans, elle est devenue d'accepter sa nouvelle identitee--un gateau de noel. Et plus, elle a savu b ien qu'elle est deja expiree. Mais rien ne change car Wallis a fait attention a sa nouvelle chanllenge de nouveaux missions. La fin de cette mois, elle a fini son histoire douleuse pendent 9 mois. Pour elle, maintenant elle reprends le sentiment de vivre. Dans la societe amerique, elle a compris bien que la culture de travailler et la facon de commander, ceux tous importants pour le sentiment d'employee. Souvent Wallis doute si elle ne va bien qu'avec l'atmosphere tout feminine. Quand elle est fiere d'etre une feministe, est-ce que celui est un problem pour elle? Moi, je suis sure qu'elle est trop hereuse maintenant parce qu'elle croit bien que les femmes soient les plus mieux que les hommes sur leadership. Quoi est nouveau dans sa vie recement? Elle s'enjoie de regarder chaque match de la Coupe de monde 2006. Elle aime bien le soccer depuis cela 2002. Cependent son equipe preferee--le Bresil-- est deja elimine par une autre preferee--la France, n'import de quoi, Wallis a trouve le coeur de sa vie apres le travail. En fait, la vie de Wallis ne change pas beaucoup. Et elle est toujours paresseuse de completer son these de matrise. Si tu es un ami d'elle, demande-lui toujours pour combattre la paresse. Il faut le faire completement comme faire du sport pour sa sante!! Au moins, wallis.liu@hp.com. Et alors, bon courage!! |
vendredi, juin 23, 2006
Between the twilight of chaos
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times,
it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness,
it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity,
it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness,
it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair,
we had everything before us, we had nothing before us,
we were all going direct to Heaven, we were all going direct the other way.
And that's the way it is now, I think!
it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness,
it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity,
it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness,
it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair,
we had everything before us, we had nothing before us,
we were all going direct to Heaven, we were all going direct the other way.
And that's the way it is now, I think!
jeudi, juin 01, 2006
Ciao TIER!!
Many friends of mine know that I use this blog space as a emotional trash can. I dropped too many negative messages here. But this time, this article, I want to share my feeling about how grateful that I am now!!
Ciao TIER, cependent j'ai travaille depuis 2.5 ans avec beaucoup amis et colleges, je pense que partir c'est mieux. Ciao TIER, c'est aussi mieux apres je t'ai laisse, alors je peux trouver que ce monde est tellement meillure. Ciao TIER, c'est encore mieux que je n'y aurais entre plus, et je pouvais me souvenir mes yeux avec hereux. Ciao TIER, maintenant je me prepare de partir. Ne t'inquiete pas!! Tout la douleur que tu m'as pose longtemps, je suis allee de l'oublier. Je sais bien si la nouvelle vie belle avec laquelle je reve de vivre, il faut t'abondonner. Ciao TIER, le moment arrive, j'ai besion de l'air plus libre et ouverte. Avec mon sac et joie, souhaite-moi un avenir beau. Dans la terre sous le soleil, je crois qu'il a des personnes qui m'attenendront!
Merci TIER, grace a toi, j'ai rencontre des amis tres sympas. Merci TIER, grace a toi, j'ai passe des incidents tres mauvais et alors je comprends que le monde n'est pas toujours joli. Merci TIER, grace a toi, j'ai gagne des opportunites d'experiencer le monde exterieur que toi. Et j'ai savu que la ciel est plus bleu que celle a toi. Merci TIER, grace a toi, j'ai commence d'entendre que la sante est tellement importante pour humaine. Merci TIER, je te remercie encore. Grace a toi, je peux comprends que la puissance est tellement terrible et le coeur de personne change immediatement. Personne ne vois le veritable visage facilment. Ne crois pas aucune personne facilement!
A la fin, avec beaucoup de merci et ciao, au moins, deux ans sont passes. La qualite de vie n'import de laide ou belle. Malgre les deux, moi, je vais continuer a vivre moi-meme bien!!
Ciao TIER, cependent j'ai travaille depuis 2.5 ans avec beaucoup amis et colleges, je pense que partir c'est mieux. Ciao TIER, c'est aussi mieux apres je t'ai laisse, alors je peux trouver que ce monde est tellement meillure. Ciao TIER, c'est encore mieux que je n'y aurais entre plus, et je pouvais me souvenir mes yeux avec hereux. Ciao TIER, maintenant je me prepare de partir. Ne t'inquiete pas!! Tout la douleur que tu m'as pose longtemps, je suis allee de l'oublier. Je sais bien si la nouvelle vie belle avec laquelle je reve de vivre, il faut t'abondonner. Ciao TIER, le moment arrive, j'ai besion de l'air plus libre et ouverte. Avec mon sac et joie, souhaite-moi un avenir beau. Dans la terre sous le soleil, je crois qu'il a des personnes qui m'attenendront!
Merci TIER, grace a toi, j'ai rencontre des amis tres sympas. Merci TIER, grace a toi, j'ai passe des incidents tres mauvais et alors je comprends que le monde n'est pas toujours joli. Merci TIER, grace a toi, j'ai gagne des opportunites d'experiencer le monde exterieur que toi. Et j'ai savu que la ciel est plus bleu que celle a toi. Merci TIER, grace a toi, j'ai commence d'entendre que la sante est tellement importante pour humaine. Merci TIER, je te remercie encore. Grace a toi, je peux comprends que la puissance est tellement terrible et le coeur de personne change immediatement. Personne ne vois le veritable visage facilment. Ne crois pas aucune personne facilement!
A la fin, avec beaucoup de merci et ciao, au moins, deux ans sont passes. La qualite de vie n'import de laide ou belle. Malgre les deux, moi, je vais continuer a vivre moi-meme bien!!
mercredi, mai 17, 2006
I believe that I want to cry
I'm passing an awful day. I just finished a terrible interaction with my superieur. I can't believe why people could chage face immediately. I just want to do myself and that's all. But am I wrong? Why those kind of boring and sucking stuffs always come bump into me? I start to doubt myself. Do I committe any error that I don't know?
I remembered that I applied one job that isn't called mermaid. But why I do more and more like a mermaid? Why she treats me more and more unpolitely? Is Power that makes people forget the right or the wrong? Is heirarchy that misleads people to have a preventive status? Is the small office that makes the mind narrower and narrower? And even is the low ceiling hiding the sky and that gives people a fatancy--I am the king of the world. I see the prejudice of Power and then I pain.
Human beings are intertwined with network, not status. Human beings are interdependent, not rely on obedience and discipline. I see so many ugly thins here and that makes me lose any confidence on sincerety. I find myself lost. I don't know how to interact. I question each action that people give me and try to analyse if they are rival. I feel sorry for myself because I distrust everyone more and more.
Equality is important. I passed nearly one year without euqlity. My health suffers and my mind does as well. A medium room with about 40 people, is it too complicated?
I believe that I want to cry. And if each tear could drop into word, I have believed that they can write a very painful story of mine. I pained long, and I find that my limit arrives just now. I can't afford any more and of course, can't suffer more. No more, please. If you're still human, no more. And Wallis, good day, good night, good luck.
I remembered that I applied one job that isn't called mermaid. But why I do more and more like a mermaid? Why she treats me more and more unpolitely? Is Power that makes people forget the right or the wrong? Is heirarchy that misleads people to have a preventive status? Is the small office that makes the mind narrower and narrower? And even is the low ceiling hiding the sky and that gives people a fatancy--I am the king of the world. I see the prejudice of Power and then I pain.
Human beings are intertwined with network, not status. Human beings are interdependent, not rely on obedience and discipline. I see so many ugly thins here and that makes me lose any confidence on sincerety. I find myself lost. I don't know how to interact. I question each action that people give me and try to analyse if they are rival. I feel sorry for myself because I distrust everyone more and more.
Equality is important. I passed nearly one year without euqlity. My health suffers and my mind does as well. A medium room with about 40 people, is it too complicated?
I believe that I want to cry. And if each tear could drop into word, I have believed that they can write a very painful story of mine. I pained long, and I find that my limit arrives just now. I can't afford any more and of course, can't suffer more. No more, please. If you're still human, no more. And Wallis, good day, good night, good luck.
lundi, avril 03, 2006
在黑暗中，獨舞，抑或漫步？！
羅曼菲走了，然而那張輓歌的獨舞迴旋影，卻在我的心頭震盪，沒有停歇。
又是一個夜晚，我感到渾身躁熱，起身，我走出臥房，夜沁涼，卻到不了我週遭。平躺，一谷火再度自腳底焚燒至頭，我痛苦難耐，似乎淚水也蒸乾了，唯一能做，便是起身。在漆黑中，走回平穩的溫度。
那張劇照，羅曼菲著素衣，在黑暗的舞台，獨自迴旋。輓歌，離我太遙遠，那時只有八歲的我，不知道武力與血可怕，也不清楚獻出生命的自由，有多可貴。然而素衣，卻是黑暗中最明亮的寧靜。
翻來覆去，眼前仍是一片黑，我捨不得睜開眼，宣告：我又失眠了。賭氣，我不希望敗在莫名的躁熱之下。每翻一次身，我的意志，是黑暗中最清晰的指引，他有力的掙扎，並且不斷地嘶吼：我躺在一塊有如古墓派練功的冰床。
羅曼菲似是凝視舞衣，卻又注視著一點－－保持迴旋不墜的平衡點。那是獨舞的喜悅，黑暗，將她襯托得更明亮了，我可以想像，那是令人感動的轉動，不停歇地，是對生命的熱愛，及追求。
我看不到躁熱，黑暗中，眼前仍是一片黑暗，但是卻又清楚感受他的運動，自腳底而上，慢慢蔓延身軀、四肢，最後來到我的意志，這是痛苦的折磨，我卻又異常清楚地感受，也唯有接受。真是令人沮喪，原來生命的鬥士，永遠比生命的烈士付出更慘痛的代價。
輓歌，似是哀傷的舞碼，卻充滿著生命的力量，雖是黑暗中獨舞，卻令人感受光明與活力，時間是凝結的，如同劇照中靜止的舞者，凍結在，生命最美好的一課／刻上。
我感受到曙光，那是移動的象徵，躁熱將自腳底褪去，一如他來時路，然而失眠的疲倦，卻箝住我，陽光底下，沒又黑暗的曖昧，一切明朗。我自黑暗，漫步至光明，痛苦並未消失，身體是最大的黑暗，也是最大的囚籠，意志在獨舞，身體卻漫步，身體趕不上迴旋的意志，而意志也飛不出巨大的黑暗，有如在舞台上旋轉的舞者，終有停止之時，只是，這似乎並不是最美的一刻，那是痛苦的結晶，因為他被鐵絲綁住了。
又是一個夜晚，我感到渾身躁熱，起身，我走出臥房，夜沁涼，卻到不了我週遭。平躺，一谷火再度自腳底焚燒至頭，我痛苦難耐，似乎淚水也蒸乾了，唯一能做，便是起身。在漆黑中，走回平穩的溫度。
那張劇照，羅曼菲著素衣，在黑暗的舞台，獨自迴旋。輓歌，離我太遙遠，那時只有八歲的我，不知道武力與血可怕，也不清楚獻出生命的自由，有多可貴。然而素衣，卻是黑暗中最明亮的寧靜。
翻來覆去，眼前仍是一片黑，我捨不得睜開眼，宣告：我又失眠了。賭氣，我不希望敗在莫名的躁熱之下。每翻一次身，我的意志，是黑暗中最清晰的指引，他有力的掙扎，並且不斷地嘶吼：我躺在一塊有如古墓派練功的冰床。
羅曼菲似是凝視舞衣，卻又注視著一點－－保持迴旋不墜的平衡點。那是獨舞的喜悅，黑暗，將她襯托得更明亮了，我可以想像，那是令人感動的轉動，不停歇地，是對生命的熱愛，及追求。
我看不到躁熱，黑暗中，眼前仍是一片黑暗，但是卻又清楚感受他的運動，自腳底而上，慢慢蔓延身軀、四肢，最後來到我的意志，這是痛苦的折磨，我卻又異常清楚地感受，也唯有接受。真是令人沮喪，原來生命的鬥士，永遠比生命的烈士付出更慘痛的代價。
輓歌，似是哀傷的舞碼，卻充滿著生命的力量，雖是黑暗中獨舞，卻令人感受光明與活力，時間是凝結的，如同劇照中靜止的舞者，凍結在，生命最美好的一課／刻上。
我感受到曙光，那是移動的象徵，躁熱將自腳底褪去，一如他來時路，然而失眠的疲倦，卻箝住我，陽光底下，沒又黑暗的曖昧，一切明朗。我自黑暗，漫步至光明，痛苦並未消失，身體是最大的黑暗，也是最大的囚籠，意志在獨舞，身體卻漫步，身體趕不上迴旋的意志，而意志也飛不出巨大的黑暗，有如在舞台上旋轉的舞者，終有停止之時，只是，這似乎並不是最美的一刻，那是痛苦的結晶，因為他被鐵絲綁住了。
lundi, mars 20, 2006
Bureau Men /Settlement Women--Preface
一、緣起
Waldo的The Administrative State，"公共行政不只是一組極大化政府效能的工具，而是一整套關於政府的規範性理論”(Public administration...was not simply a set of techinical maxims for governmental efficiency but a full-blown normative theory of government)。Waldo視公共行政為政治哲學(think of public administration as a political philosophy)，也從歷史的角度來思考(and to think of it historically)，從此給了Cammilla不同的思考方向。
二、觀察角度
Waldo看到了位於公共行政的核心掙扎：行政效率及民主，仍持續成為行政學界討論的重點。Camilla基於Waldo的觀點--科學與商業仍視公共行政領域有所產出的重要力量(Sience and business as crucial forces shaping the emergence of the field)，加入了"性別"的角度。
三、故事內容
在大躍進的年代，及二十世紀出的二十年，男人與女人皆共同為了改善城市政府與都市生活而付出努力。然而，他們卻以截然不同的方式呈現，這些方式係基於男女於社會上被期待的性別角色，因此，即使男性與女性承受了相同的目標，卻轉化成不同的活動。簡單形容這類差異：男性的嚐試係使城市運作趨於商業化；而女性卻想使城市變得像一個家。
四、目的
如同Waldo所說，在一個缺乏女性作為及其對於這個領域貢獻的任何紀錄之下，任何說法都能成立，且具有說服力。然而，不去考慮女性的活動，很難想像出另一種迥異的模式(如Waldo所說的"古老政體")，故本書的目的，就是質疑這種"視為當然"的氛圍,這種氛圍充斥整個公共行政領域，並阻擋其預見了不同之可能。(As Waldo showed, in the absence of any knowledge about what women of the time were doing and what they might have contributed to the field's development, one can tell the story of public administration and tell it persuasively. But without considering women's activities, it is difficult to imagine an alternative other than, as Waldo wryly noted, the ancien regime. My project is aimed at calling into question this taken-for-granted quality, which permeates the field and keeps it from seeing what might be.)
Waldo的The Administrative State，"公共行政不只是一組極大化政府效能的工具，而是一整套關於政府的規範性理論”(Public administration...was not simply a set of techinical maxims for governmental efficiency but a full-blown normative theory of government)。Waldo視公共行政為政治哲學(think of public administration as a political philosophy)，也從歷史的角度來思考(and to think of it historically)，從此給了Cammilla不同的思考方向。
二、觀察角度
Waldo看到了位於公共行政的核心掙扎：行政效率及民主，仍持續成為行政學界討論的重點。Camilla基於Waldo的觀點--科學與商業仍視公共行政領域有所產出的重要力量(Sience and business as crucial forces shaping the emergence of the field)，加入了"性別"的角度。
三、故事內容
在大躍進的年代，及二十世紀出的二十年，男人與女人皆共同為了改善城市政府與都市生活而付出努力。然而，他們卻以截然不同的方式呈現，這些方式係基於男女於社會上被期待的性別角色，因此，即使男性與女性承受了相同的目標，卻轉化成不同的活動。簡單形容這類差異：男性的嚐試係使城市運作趨於商業化；而女性卻想使城市變得像一個家。
四、目的
如同Waldo所說，在一個缺乏女性作為及其對於這個領域貢獻的任何紀錄之下，任何說法都能成立，且具有說服力。然而，不去考慮女性的活動，很難想像出另一種迥異的模式(如Waldo所說的"古老政體")，故本書的目的，就是質疑這種"視為當然"的氛圍,這種氛圍充斥整個公共行政領域，並阻擋其預見了不同之可能。(As Waldo showed, in the absence of any knowledge about what women of the time were doing and what they might have contributed to the field's development, one can tell the story of public administration and tell it persuasively. But without considering women's activities, it is difficult to imagine an alternative other than, as Waldo wryly noted, the ancien regime. My project is aimed at calling into question this taken-for-granted quality, which permeates the field and keeps it from seeing what might be.)
mardi, mars 14, 2006
When Taiwan becomes Narnia...
Trop de bruits et j'espere d'etant tranquille....
The answer is really clear. That means that you committed the horrible crinime, no doubt. Why you daren't confess? Or why your appologise is always so weak and full of denial. We see slaughters everywhere every day, between the survial and the extinguishment. Too many to be anaesthetized. So what is the critical point, it's the intention. For meats or for blood? If, for the endless unsatisfaction of desire to control, that will frozen most people. Dis desole, celui pourrait devenir la motive de marcher.
Everyone sees that you put it on the advertisement. If it's right, just do it. Besides, doing right things never appeals to attack while personal problems would always be the core calling for criticize. I admit that ambiguity would always brings the beauty at some degree. However, who likes it so much? Can you accept that your relationship always stands still? Even though years go by, you still stand at the same point...not jumping into the grave of marriage neither turning separation. Is it love? Or it's the excuse of a coward who is lack of courage and daren't pay any responsibity.
Allo!! Bienvenue a Narnia en Asie. Maintenant il neige plus que pluie. Toutes les choses sont genees. On vit sous l'atmosphere frappee. Personne ne s'exprime donc la verite est cachee. Mesonges seraient les plus jolis peintures. On les voie et reste muet. Tout le monde est d'habitude du degre bas quand meme. Aussi ils sont controle par quelques gens vieux et laides. C'est plus mauvais que Narnia car laquelle est la terre de la sorciere blanche. Au moins, elle est belle. C'est quoi on devrait faire? Attends ou echape? J'espere d'arrivee d'Aslan. On a besion de personne qui peut apporter la justice et le courage pour saufer tout ce qui est en train de souffrir. Je crois qu'il y a une personne qui peut resoudre toutes les questions laissees et re-launcer toutes les actions qu'il faut faire. Mais je doute: c'est un beau reve?
Naria avec Aslan rentre l'origine finalement. C'est l'histoire vrai dans le monde d'histoire. Mais ou est notre Aslan? Nous attendons...
The answer is really clear. That means that you committed the horrible crinime, no doubt. Why you daren't confess? Or why your appologise is always so weak and full of denial. We see slaughters everywhere every day, between the survial and the extinguishment. Too many to be anaesthetized. So what is the critical point, it's the intention. For meats or for blood? If, for the endless unsatisfaction of desire to control, that will frozen most people. Dis desole, celui pourrait devenir la motive de marcher.
Everyone sees that you put it on the advertisement. If it's right, just do it. Besides, doing right things never appeals to attack while personal problems would always be the core calling for criticize. I admit that ambiguity would always brings the beauty at some degree. However, who likes it so much? Can you accept that your relationship always stands still? Even though years go by, you still stand at the same point...not jumping into the grave of marriage neither turning separation. Is it love? Or it's the excuse of a coward who is lack of courage and daren't pay any responsibity.
Allo!! Bienvenue a Narnia en Asie. Maintenant il neige plus que pluie. Toutes les choses sont genees. On vit sous l'atmosphere frappee. Personne ne s'exprime donc la verite est cachee. Mesonges seraient les plus jolis peintures. On les voie et reste muet. Tout le monde est d'habitude du degre bas quand meme. Aussi ils sont controle par quelques gens vieux et laides. C'est plus mauvais que Narnia car laquelle est la terre de la sorciere blanche. Au moins, elle est belle. C'est quoi on devrait faire? Attends ou echape? J'espere d'arrivee d'Aslan. On a besion de personne qui peut apporter la justice et le courage pour saufer tout ce qui est en train de souffrir. Je crois qu'il y a une personne qui peut resoudre toutes les questions laissees et re-launcer toutes les actions qu'il faut faire. Mais je doute: c'est un beau reve?
Naria avec Aslan rentre l'origine finalement. C'est l'histoire vrai dans le monde d'histoire. Mais ou est notre Aslan? Nous attendons...
mercredi, mars 08, 2006
mardi, mars 07, 2006
好大一個洞!!
在這當口，我發現了一個洞，我無法測量它的深度，但似乎是深不見底......
二月八日晚上，見證了一場雪花與火花的感動，那只是尋常的景象，週遭的人也稀稀落落，然而夜色是最美的畫布，看著不斷落下的白雪，即努力上衝的煙火，疲乏與無知的感官，似乎活絡起來，一股溼熱充塞眼眶，如同充溢胸間的溫熱，讓我感到滿足與美好。
我去拜訪了神的故鄉，比起溫泉與城堡，在神的故鄉，我感受到前所未有的平靜與喜樂，我總是以為自己是都市動物，沒有霓虹燈與喧囂，是顯現不出生活的彩度。但是在神的故鄉，一切很單純，也很安靜，顏色很單調，沒有渲染，似乎更貼近最初與原始。上山時，總想著當年的神是沿路走下來的，這裡的神沒有形象，他留下了器物彰顯神威與神力。我照鏡子，想著神似乎也從鏡子中看到我，究竟神看到的我，與鏡子看到的我，及我看到的我，有不同嗎？有人看到了身體下的苦痛嗎？還是過度傷春悲秋的情緒？還是一切都像是浮光掠影，只是一場痛苦的夢，痛到沒人願意醒過來。我的身體不斷移動，漂浮與現實與想像，惡夢與神話裡，過度斷裂的思緒與切割的片段，無法拼湊完整，也無法看清全貌，現實真是現實嗎？還是另一個過度的想像？蒙上溫泉的煙霧與熱氣，鏡像糊掉了，也許我需要的是劍，因為鏡子只是無窮盡的複製，然而劍卻能破立新局。
東尼瀧谷，孤獨氛圍充斥的電影，藉著音樂、圖畫與衣服，訴說著人心中的深沉孤寂，及悲哀。數量與孤獨感成正比，何時，情感的強烈也可以藉由數量來烘托呢？我與村上不熟，然而，那股深沉的孤獨與寂寥，卻吸引著我，即使我仍是只能從絮般的片段，以自我的文本，重新想像，再現村上......作者，文本，導演，演員，應看而未看的我，神交的互動，帶來了另一種孤獨感，至少色彩更多了，聲音更雜了，即使所有的互動出於無形，我也開始環視，聽音樂的我，穿衣服的我，沉迷於所有美的事物的我，是否，換了嚴重的戀物癖而不自知，是否最孤單可憐的人，還猶如井底之蛙般，高傲地睥睨，裹著愉悅與歡欣的國王新衣，卻不自覺透露了最赤裸脆弱的靈魂；沉溺於自我的文本，消費過往的訊息，一意孤行，執著不悔？旅人究竟孤獨？或擁有超然的灑脫？流浪是否只是無目的的旅行？漂泊又是自由的表徵嗎？
沒多久，我來到了雪鄉，那一片只有雪白與煙霧，溫泉與列車，旅人與藝妓的空間。果然，顏色很單純，白日的白及白雪的白，黑夜的黑與煙霧的曚，因此，移動的人特別清楚，時間被大雪掩埋了，山中無日月，這是最好的寫照。即使時間不明，雪似乎下不停，人性的轉折與扭捏，卻讓人愈趨寒冷，我無法理解那冰冷的觸感，如何直插入心臟，完全不留痕跡？是雪鄉的蕭瑟嗎？是大雪的掩埋嗎？部分真像被鎖住了，我彷彿搭乘北國列車，在黑暗中前進，窗外的景象，被濃烈的霧氣暈染，讓我猜不透，那究竟是什麼，卻彷彿感覺到，真相，似乎再那麼一點，就到了。可惜，我仍未看到，我震攝於雪鄉的白雪，那一切幾乎近於死寂的白，專注於急速下降的體溫，感受血液似乎就要凝結的喘息，模糊的看著彆扭卻又深入的互動，卻抓不出個所以然。
洞，即使到了現在，也無法被填滿，即使是滿腔的文字，也無法填滿......
二月八日晚上，見證了一場雪花與火花的感動，那只是尋常的景象，週遭的人也稀稀落落，然而夜色是最美的畫布，看著不斷落下的白雪，即努力上衝的煙火，疲乏與無知的感官，似乎活絡起來，一股溼熱充塞眼眶，如同充溢胸間的溫熱，讓我感到滿足與美好。
我去拜訪了神的故鄉，比起溫泉與城堡，在神的故鄉，我感受到前所未有的平靜與喜樂，我總是以為自己是都市動物，沒有霓虹燈與喧囂，是顯現不出生活的彩度。但是在神的故鄉，一切很單純，也很安靜，顏色很單調，沒有渲染，似乎更貼近最初與原始。上山時，總想著當年的神是沿路走下來的，這裡的神沒有形象，他留下了器物彰顯神威與神力。我照鏡子，想著神似乎也從鏡子中看到我，究竟神看到的我，與鏡子看到的我，及我看到的我，有不同嗎？有人看到了身體下的苦痛嗎？還是過度傷春悲秋的情緒？還是一切都像是浮光掠影，只是一場痛苦的夢，痛到沒人願意醒過來。我的身體不斷移動，漂浮與現實與想像，惡夢與神話裡，過度斷裂的思緒與切割的片段，無法拼湊完整，也無法看清全貌，現實真是現實嗎？還是另一個過度的想像？蒙上溫泉的煙霧與熱氣，鏡像糊掉了，也許我需要的是劍，因為鏡子只是無窮盡的複製，然而劍卻能破立新局。
東尼瀧谷，孤獨氛圍充斥的電影，藉著音樂、圖畫與衣服，訴說著人心中的深沉孤寂，及悲哀。數量與孤獨感成正比，何時，情感的強烈也可以藉由數量來烘托呢？我與村上不熟，然而，那股深沉的孤獨與寂寥，卻吸引著我，即使我仍是只能從絮般的片段，以自我的文本，重新想像，再現村上......作者，文本，導演，演員，應看而未看的我，神交的互動，帶來了另一種孤獨感，至少色彩更多了，聲音更雜了，即使所有的互動出於無形，我也開始環視，聽音樂的我，穿衣服的我，沉迷於所有美的事物的我，是否，換了嚴重的戀物癖而不自知，是否最孤單可憐的人，還猶如井底之蛙般，高傲地睥睨，裹著愉悅與歡欣的國王新衣，卻不自覺透露了最赤裸脆弱的靈魂；沉溺於自我的文本，消費過往的訊息，一意孤行，執著不悔？旅人究竟孤獨？或擁有超然的灑脫？流浪是否只是無目的的旅行？漂泊又是自由的表徵嗎？
沒多久，我來到了雪鄉，那一片只有雪白與煙霧，溫泉與列車，旅人與藝妓的空間。果然，顏色很單純，白日的白及白雪的白，黑夜的黑與煙霧的曚，因此，移動的人特別清楚，時間被大雪掩埋了，山中無日月，這是最好的寫照。即使時間不明，雪似乎下不停，人性的轉折與扭捏，卻讓人愈趨寒冷，我無法理解那冰冷的觸感，如何直插入心臟，完全不留痕跡？是雪鄉的蕭瑟嗎？是大雪的掩埋嗎？部分真像被鎖住了，我彷彿搭乘北國列車，在黑暗中前進，窗外的景象，被濃烈的霧氣暈染，讓我猜不透，那究竟是什麼，卻彷彿感覺到，真相，似乎再那麼一點，就到了。可惜，我仍未看到，我震攝於雪鄉的白雪，那一切幾乎近於死寂的白，專注於急速下降的體溫，感受血液似乎就要凝結的喘息，模糊的看著彆扭卻又深入的互動，卻抓不出個所以然。
洞，即使到了現在，也無法被填滿，即使是滿腔的文字，也無法填滿......
lundi, janvier 23, 2006
make-up party!
Yes!! I missed agian--an opportunity for crazily messing up and then suddenly disappearing.
There always exists un evil intention deep in my heart, but it is passing like a ray, too fast to chase; like a flash, too short to be true. Although I want, it's impossible to come true cause I hardly to see its real appearance. The only thing that I'm quite sure and am proud of is being a person without solid essence. Vividly like a mirror, I project everyone's lute, desire and dream. The perfect transparence, like a shining star in a blurred dark sky, stares at your terrors and horrors. Then appears as a brutal monster, hungry for a long while, hunting down the moon. Its favorite sacrifice is lonliness and silence. As a resident in the endless nightmare, it hopes for transfer. Yes. That's the way I catch your eyes and your attention, through the emerging curiosity, sorry but you're already a victime.
Imagine as angel not totally pure, he can travel from the paradise and the dust. He gets invisible wings--actually I'm not sure whether the wings are invisible or nothing at all. Mixed angel has foot and human like body. Mostly he walks instead of flying, but he tells himself always: it's mind that divides a saint or a devil. Devil gets wings as well but they are black. It should be standing at the extreme point--absolute purity or chao--that could become a complete angel or devil. His choice is always ambigous, and that's the reason why he's a mixed. He tastes everyone's mood but never involved by himself. There's only dust on foot and the mind is still empty--a shinning mirror reflects everything projected to it. It recieves but never accepts.
Carring with modernity and post-modernity, walking through a long passage of time, a vagrant passed up and down each changing space. No destination, he doesn't know his home and of course, there's nowhere for him to belong.
Yes thought I am eager to parcitipate in, I still missed this opportunity. Though I am always here, never disappear...sigh...always lack of motivation and a little bit action...courage and impluse....sigh....I am still who I am even though I am not sure whether I am wearing a mask--just like everyone does. Tout le monde est en train de participer au fete!!
There always exists un evil intention deep in my heart, but it is passing like a ray, too fast to chase; like a flash, too short to be true. Although I want, it's impossible to come true cause I hardly to see its real appearance. The only thing that I'm quite sure and am proud of is being a person without solid essence. Vividly like a mirror, I project everyone's lute, desire and dream. The perfect transparence, like a shining star in a blurred dark sky, stares at your terrors and horrors. Then appears as a brutal monster, hungry for a long while, hunting down the moon. Its favorite sacrifice is lonliness and silence. As a resident in the endless nightmare, it hopes for transfer. Yes. That's the way I catch your eyes and your attention, through the emerging curiosity, sorry but you're already a victime.
Imagine as angel not totally pure, he can travel from the paradise and the dust. He gets invisible wings--actually I'm not sure whether the wings are invisible or nothing at all. Mixed angel has foot and human like body. Mostly he walks instead of flying, but he tells himself always: it's mind that divides a saint or a devil. Devil gets wings as well but they are black. It should be standing at the extreme point--absolute purity or chao--that could become a complete angel or devil. His choice is always ambigous, and that's the reason why he's a mixed. He tastes everyone's mood but never involved by himself. There's only dust on foot and the mind is still empty--a shinning mirror reflects everything projected to it. It recieves but never accepts.
Carring with modernity and post-modernity, walking through a long passage of time, a vagrant passed up and down each changing space. No destination, he doesn't know his home and of course, there's nowhere for him to belong.
Yes thought I am eager to parcitipate in, I still missed this opportunity. Though I am always here, never disappear...sigh...always lack of motivation and a little bit action...courage and impluse....sigh....I am still who I am even though I am not sure whether I am wearing a mask--just like everyone does. Tout le monde est en train de participer au fete!!
Cites of several paragraphs!
(A) Cruelty and compassion come with the chromosomes;
All men are merciful and all are murderers.
Doting on dogs, they build their Dachaus;
Fire whole cities and fondle the orphans;
Are loud against lynching, but all for Oakridge;
Full of future philanthropy, but today are NKVD.
Whom shall we persecute, for whom feel pity?
It is all a matter of the moment's mores,
Of words on wood pulp, of radios roaring,
Of communist kindergartens and first communions.
Only in the knowledge of his own Essence
Has any man ceased to be many monkeys.
(Huxley, 1984, p. 75)
(B) Science Explores, Techonology Executes, Mankind Conforms
--motto of the 1933 World's Fair
(C) Administrative evil is not easily identified as such because its appearance is masked; moreover, in our ordinary roles with our taken for granted assumptions about the modern world, we wear the mask.
(Adams, G. B. & Balfour, D. L., 1998 xxiii)
(D) "Relations between the sexes are a primary aspect of social organization"; that individuals' sense of themselves as men or women are "in large part culturally determined" rather than biological or an outgrowth of individual personality; and that differences between the sexes display and reinforce a hierarchical organization that privileges masculinity.
(Joan Wallach Scott, P.8 BM/SW)
(E) "Emergent rulers have legitimized domination, strength, central authority, and ruling power as masculine (enemies, outsiders, subversives, weakness as feminine) and made that code literal in laws (forbidding women's political participation, outlawing abortion, prohibiting wage-earning by mothers, imposing female dress codes) that put women in their place. " Gender shapes the dynamics of public life just as it does in private.
(P.8 BM/SW)
All men are merciful and all are murderers.
Doting on dogs, they build their Dachaus;
Fire whole cities and fondle the orphans;
Are loud against lynching, but all for Oakridge;
Full of future philanthropy, but today are NKVD.
Whom shall we persecute, for whom feel pity?
It is all a matter of the moment's mores,
Of words on wood pulp, of radios roaring,
Of communist kindergartens and first communions.
Only in the knowledge of his own Essence
Has any man ceased to be many monkeys.
(Huxley, 1984, p. 75)
(B) Science Explores, Techonology Executes, Mankind Conforms
--motto of the 1933 World's Fair
(C) Administrative evil is not easily identified as such because its appearance is masked; moreover, in our ordinary roles with our taken for granted assumptions about the modern world, we wear the mask.
(Adams, G. B. & Balfour, D. L., 1998 xxiii)
(D) "Relations between the sexes are a primary aspect of social organization"; that individuals' sense of themselves as men or women are "in large part culturally determined" rather than biological or an outgrowth of individual personality; and that differences between the sexes display and reinforce a hierarchical organization that privileges masculinity.
(Joan Wallach Scott, P.8 BM/SW)
(E) "Emergent rulers have legitimized domination, strength, central authority, and ruling power as masculine (enemies, outsiders, subversives, weakness as feminine) and made that code literal in laws (forbidding women's political participation, outlawing abortion, prohibiting wage-earning by mothers, imposing female dress codes) that put women in their place. " Gender shapes the dynamics of public life just as it does in private.
(P.8 BM/SW)
jeudi, novembre 03, 2005
與黃老師約定的作業(四):男人的不自在
事件:記得我剛進院裡上班時,負責我的是一位男性研究人員,當時的處長只要一不在,他就成為處長代理人,因此,我很自然以為他是處長的秘書,專門為處長處理大小事,過濾一些雜事.不過當我以秘書稱呼他,他總是很不好意思對我說....我不是處長秘書,請不要叫我秘書.
官僚組織觀點:
女性主義的角度:
官僚組織觀點:
- 進入官僚系統,會直接以職務內容與稱謂做連結,即使那位男性研究人員是研究人員,但是他日常所涉及之事務,仍讓我不自覺認為他是秘書.
- 官僚組織對於事權劃分極為精細,使得即使同間辦公室的人,彼此因為這份切割也往往不了解相互間的業務,導致所有的認知皆指向事務,而不是個人.愈趨理性的官僚組織, 離人性也愈趨遙遠.
女性主義的角度:
- 配合著官僚體系對於職稱的看重,及社會價值對於照護性工作的鄙視,秘書這充滿女性化的職務,對一個男性而言,會直接衝擊其自我認同.
- 組織體系與結構的性別化,對於不符合其性別的男性與女性皆會造成心理上的扭曲.對於一個高階層的女性主管,其必須做出符合高階層男性氣質的行為,成為雄性氣概的犧牲者也是複製者,這種情形,類似佛洛伊德所說的"陽具崇拜".但對位身處低階的男性工作者,或是本身從事與照護相關的男性工作者,其面臨到的是佛洛伊德所說的"閹割焦慮",看著與自己做同樣性質工作的幾乎是異性,對照同性所從事的工作,很自然會對充滿女性稱謂的職務與用語,充滿排斥.
- 即使社會偏見認為女性是從事秘書不二人選,但若主管是男性,男性服務男性,心理的壓力仍不若男性為女主管服務.
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